A bride-to-be is stressing out over the fact that she's not a virgin, but she told her future husband she is. She has no idea what to do and is talking to her friends about it, when one of the friends pipes up and says, Here's what you do, buy some liver, stick it up there, and everything will be nice and tight and your husband will never know.

So, the bride-to-be follows the advice, and on the wedding night, the newlywed couple has crazy sex all over the place. On the kitchen counter, on the living room floor, all over the house. But when she wakes up in the morning, her new husband is gone, and all she finds is a note pinned to the pillow, which reads:

Dearest, I'm sorry, but I've thought things over and I just don't think things will work out between us. I had a wonderful time, but I'm sorry, I've thought about it, and we just weren't meant to be. P.S. Your vagina is in the sink.