A one-armed man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. The bartender, noticing the sad look on the man's face asks him what's the matter?
"I try real hard," says the man, "but I have no luck with women."
"You should buy a boat," suggests the bartender..."Buddy of mine got a boat, he gets it more than anyone I know.."
The next day the man goes out, buys a boat, and brings it to the lake. As he is backing it in a hot blond walks up and asks for a ride..
Next day the man goes back to the bar with a smile on his face.
"Well, what happened," asked the bartender.
"This hot blond asked for a ride..we got to the middle of the lake, I killed the engine, and said 'Suck my dick swim.'"
"What happened?!" asked the bartender..
"Well you didn't hear about any hot blonds drowning in the lake did ya?" says the man.

The next weekend the man decides to try his luck again...
When he goes into the bar the following day...he's not smiling anymore...
"Well what the hell happened, why so sad?" asked the bartender..
"Well I went to the lake...this time a hot brunette asked for a ride in the boat. So we get to the middle of the lake, and SHE kills the engine... She pulls down her shorts and reveals a penis, and says 'Suck my dick or swim!"
"Well what did you do?!?" asked the bartender...
"You didn't hear about any one-armed men drowning in the lake this weekend did ya?"