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Ralph

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife,
and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your
sleep, Ralph..'

Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live
for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and
that is as a chicken.'
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his
home.. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and
pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day
here?'
'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside.
Like I'm gonna explode!'
'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before? '

'Never,' said Ralph.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid
another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his
head, and heard his wife yell.....
'Ralph, wake up. You shit the bed!'
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