It's a guy thing.
-- There is no rationale or logic, and I don't feel like trying to come up with any.

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
-- I'm conditioned to agree, but it doesn't mean I'm listening.

"That's interesting, dear."
-- I acknowledge that you're STILL talking.

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
-- I forgot our anniversary again.

"You know how bad my memory is."
-- I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
-- It's a guy thing. (see above)

"What did I do this time?"
-- I hope you haven't been checking my e-mail.

"I heard you."
-- I heard words coming out of your mouth, and now you can stop talking.

"I don't need to read the instructions."
-- It's my right to do this my way and screw it up on my own.