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11 Most Valuable (Non-Essential) Body Parts You Can Sell On The Black Market To Recoup Your Bitcoin Losses

So you've lost all of your savings buying cryptocurrency at their ATH (all time high) price, and now you're scrambling to figure out how to pay...

By mrlousyjeans

Published 1 year ago in Funny

So you've lost all of your savings buying cryptocurrency at their ATH (all time high) price, and now you're scrambling to figure out how to pay your mortgage? Well, why don't you have a seat over here so we can discuss your options.

  • 1

    Kidneys - $200,000. 75% of Black Market organ trade involves the sale of a kidney due to diabetes, high blood pressure and heart problems. It’s worth noting that these are much cheaper ($15,000-$60,000) in China and India.

    11 Most Valuable (Non-Essential) Body Parts You Can Sell On The Black Market To Recoup Your Bitcoin Losses

  • 2

    Bone Marrow - $23,000 per gram. Easily the most valuable part of your body that you can live without. While it's totally legal to donate bone marrow, it is illegal to sell.

    11 Most Valuable (Non-Essential) Body Parts You Can Sell On The Black Market To Recoup Your Bitcoin Losses

  • 3

    Small Intestine - $2,519. Technically you can live without your small intestine, but because it's responsible for absorbing nutrients from your foot, you'll have to get those nutrients via an IV the rest of your life.

    11 Most Valuable (Non-Essential) Body Parts You Can Sell On The Black Market To Recoup Your Bitcoin Losses

  • 4

    Pair of Eyeballs - $1,525. At least you'll never have to see another crypto crash, right?

    11 Most Valuable (Non-Essential) Body Parts You Can Sell On The Black Market To Recoup Your Bitcoin Losses

  • 5

    Gallblader - $1,129. You don't need this.

    11 Most Valuable (Non-Essential) Body Parts You Can Sell On The Black Market To Recoup Your Bitcoin Losses

  • 6

    Scalp - $607. It's not going to pay your mortgage, but maybe you'll be able to get the family car fixed.

    11 Most Valuable (Non-Essential) Body Parts You Can Sell On The Black Market To Recoup Your Bitcoin Losses

  • 7

    Spleen - $508. This one stinks too. Get rid of it.

    11 Most Valuable (Non-Essential) Body Parts You Can Sell On The Black Market To Recoup Your Bitcoin Losses

  • 8

    Shoulder - $500.

    11 Most Valuable (Non-Essential) Body Parts You Can Sell On The Black Market To Recoup Your Bitcoin Losses

  • 9

    Hand and Forearm - $385. Just make sure it's not your primary hand.

    11 Most Valuable (Non-Essential) Body Parts You Can Sell On The Black Market To Recoup Your Bitcoin Losses

  • 10

    Blood - $337 per pint. You have to wait 56 days between blood donations, so you better get going sooner than later.

    11 Most Valuable (Non-Essential) Body Parts You Can Sell On The Black Market To Recoup Your Bitcoin Losses

  • 11

    Skin - $10 per square inch. No word on if they'll still pay that much for skin with Smash Mouth tattoos.

    11 Most Valuable (Non-Essential) Body Parts You Can Sell On The Black Market To Recoup Your Bitcoin Losses

Categories:

Funny

Tags:

bitcoin cryptocurrency crash satire parody funny body parts black market
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