When you're hanging over the porcelain throne and promising yourself that you'll never drink again, reality will smack you in the face, but until then, these things couldn't be more true.
1
When youre just reaching that just past tipsy phase its like
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That guy you're going home with is a 10.
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The food cravings will kick in
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Your friends will start telling you to drink water and youre like
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Extremely simple ideas are actually extremely brilliant ideas.
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The area surrounding the urinal also counts as the urinal.
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Taking the stairs is a feat.
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The bartender is a free therapist.
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They must only let 10s in this bar.
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It's better if you say something right now...
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...Because why not? You're like modern Shakespeare.
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You have plenty of money to buy that full-sized Darth Vader coat rack you've always wanted for the past 15 minutes.
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You're not DRUNK drunk.
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...And your friends are crazy for suggesting otherwise.
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Of course she should take you home: You're a goddamn Adonis.
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The entire earth is shifting violently beneath you.
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One more drink couldn't hurt.
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You dont need to shut down the party, you just need a little nap, then youre good to go. Right here looks comfy
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The world is your mattress.
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If you actually end up on your bed that night, then youre doing really well
21
Lets be honestnaked selfies are SO much better when youre drunk
