1

Using Plenty Of Fish, the free dating site. It was like the Netto of dating sites. I chatted briefly with one woman before telling her I was going out for a few drinks. Next day I checked my messages and she had sent some. It started with “why don’t you come round to mine and get drunk together”, progressing to “why are you ignoring me”, then to “I think you’re gorgeous and we will be good together” and finally “don’t you Fucking ignore me”. I sent her a message the next day to never contact me again.

2

3

Dated a guy who was in a Poli-sci PhD program (confirmed) who had a law degree (confirmed) but had “left practice because he didn’t enjoy it.” Nope. Had been arrested for a federal hate crime as a neo-Nazi and was ineligible to practice. Thank god for google.

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5

I met with this very attractive woman off Upper middle class tinder (Bumble). She was way hotter than me. At some point during the evening, she leans forward on her bar stool, narrows her eyes and goes “I know there was some reason I swiped right on you”. Because at this point she could not remember.

6

Finding a wonderful guy and then cancelling the date last minute because I wasn’t over my ex. Joke’s on me, we rematched 10 months later, he gave me shit about my behaviour last time and told me because of that I had to come up with an idea now. March will mark our 1 year anniversary.

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8

I matched a girl who looked really cool and complimented her hair. She responded with something along the lines of “I’m so glad you messaged me, most of these guys just match and never message.” I’ve seen almost exactly the same line before from bots, so I assumed she was a bot and said something snarky about it. She replied, upset, and then unmatched me.

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11

Met with a girl at a bar in Philadelphia on a Friday night around 6PM. It was fun and we drank a lot, but I noticed that she was pacing MUCH faster than me. I had around 4 beers in the time it took her to drink 7 martinis ($15 a glass). We are getting along well and she says that she needs to use the rest room. She took her jacket and purse to the restroom. I didn’t think much of it but after an hour of sitting at the bar alone waiting I realized that I got used for a heavy pregame. The bartender kinda realized it. When I asked for the tab he shrugged and was like “shit happens mate. I took two drinks off your tab.”

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13

Oh man, the first time I contacted someone (it was via The Onion personals, which were really a thing in 2005), I just made fun of a band she said she liked. I wrote something like, “My only problem is that you are into (band)” She replied (as she should have), “My only problem is that the only thing you offer is a criticism”. I still cringe.

14

She was being flirty but I just kept asking “how’s your day going” “what are you up to” and other generic questions until she stopped and never messaged me back.