Workplaces are full of different types of characters. You have the overachievers, the ones who just want to leave, and then the ones who somehow manage to turn the easiest tasks into marathons.
Every worker has that one unforgettable story; the employee who thought they were the smartest person in the room, only to end up becoming company lore for years to come.
These moments remind us that sometimes people really do fire themselves. So take a mental note of what not to do at your job, and enjoy these stories so absurd you’ll wonder how these people ever got hired in the first place.
1
"One guy called off work saying his ride had crashed into a ditch during a snowstorm. To prove it, he texted his boss a photo of the truck in the ditch. There was no snow in the photo."
2
“A new maintenance hire at a university started work one morning. By lunchtime, a woman’s bike was stolen from the rack outside."
3
"Two coworkers went out one night. One injured his hand and went to the hospital, but still made it to work the next morning. The other called in, claiming he was “still at the hospital” helping his friend. Management quickly connected the dots. Fired."
4
"A new cake decorator at a grocery store turned in their first custom cake with the words: “I JUST REMEMBERED I HATE DECORATING CAKES.” They were not employed much longer."
5
"Not fired but still silly. A new hire at a health food store called Nutters quit halfway through her first shift, after revealing she had a severe nut allergy and couldn’t handle most of the products."
6
“A flooring store employee rested a runner mat across his leg to cut it with a utility knife, and, unsurprisingly, cut himself. After recovering, he returned to work, and did it again. Fired for obvious reasons.”
7
"During orientation, a woman stood up to introduce herself. A guy across the room whistled at her. The session stopped immediately. He was escorted out and everyone else got a crash course on workplace harassment."
8
“An employee brought a drone to work and flew it around during lunch, at a secure facility. He was terminated on the spot. National security and drones don’t mix.”
9
“A young private “borrowed” a military Land Rover for a long weekend, panicked about getting caught, and decided to cover it up by setting it on fire. The kicker? No one had even noticed the vehicle was missing. CCTV caught everything. Fired, obviously.”
10
“A new consultant was sent to a training course but skipped it entirely. Instead, he invited his girlfriend to stay at the hotel and assumed the company would keep paying. HR found out, no training attendance, hotel charges through the roof. Terminated.
11
“One employee pretended to take out the trash multiple times a day just to go smoke. Eventually, the boss checked the cameras and realized the cart was always empty. The moment he rolled it back inside, he was fired.”
12
“A kitchen employee came to work under the influence of meth, not entirely unusual in that environment. But when she started shouting in tongues at a customer she thought was the Antichrist, that was the last straw. Fired immediately.”
13
“An employee slipped on a loose carpet in the reception area and filed for workers’ comp. Reviewing security footage revealed they had planned the fall, discussing it with a coworker days earlier. Claim denied, job terminated.”
14
“A woman called in sick, then posted photos of herself partying that same night on Facebook. Her coworkers and even some managers were on her friends list. She was let go the next day.”
15
“Part of the job was showing occupied apartments to potential tenants. After one showing, an employee decided to stay behind and help himself to the tenant’s cereal, straight from the box, with his hands. The tenant’s security camera caught it."
