18 Deal Breakers People Didn't Know About Their Partner
Yikes!
Published 4 years ago in Wtf
When it comes to relationships, it's really important to have good, clear communication as early as possible. It can help you identify serious red flags in the worst-case scenario, or at the very least it can help you both determine if you're looking for the same things.
2
My GF cheated on her last boyfriend. Not for love, but because she was mad at him. She was still young then and really regrets it but it would probably have been a dealbreaker if I knew before I fell head over heels for her. We have a great, stable relationship but it’s still nagging in the back of my head from time to time and makes me insecure.
3
My wife has so little self-confidence that she constantly questions herself to the point of utter indecision. On everything big or small she has no opinion because she simply can’t decide. I suspect it’s fear of being wrong but I don’t really want to tell her it’s ok to be wrong. Something tells me that wouldn’t help.
5
How mean she could be to people. She burned more bridges with friends in the 3 years we were together than I’ve done in my whole life. She’s generally pretty sweet, but when she gets pissed off she will say some of the meanest things I’ve heard. It took me a long time to recognize the common denominator because we rarely had any problems.
7
He kept a sex calendar/book, came across it two years into the relationship. He had symbols for what he did with the woman and notes like if it happens on the first date or not. For example, ‘X = kissing and so on and so on’. The first few months of dating before becoming “exclusive” he told me I was the only woman he was with, well according to the calendar I was far from, sometimes multiple women in a day.
8
I didn’t realize any of these things until she moved in with me and it became clear that she was barely a functioning adult. She couldn’t use a washing machine, iron, or dishwasher. She dealt with her problems by going to bed early and hoping they’d solved themselves by morning (spoiler, they hadn’t). The only thing she could cook was fries and chicken nuggets. She didn’t consider tidying up after herself to be normal and she would proudly text me when she did some laundry or the washing up, then got annoyed when I wasn’t grateful she’d managed to sort out her own shit. But mainly, she liked to fuck other dudes.
9
That he’s bipolar. My brother is bipolar as well and growing up with him has been hell, watching him ruin his life with gambling, etc. when “high” and being suicidal when depressed. I’m glad my boyfriend didn’t tell me until later in the relationship, because now I know there are functioning bipolar people out there. Best 3 years of my life so far.
10
That she had worked as an escort and as a sugar baby before we met. I never in my life thought I would date a former sex worker, but man do I love her, and I’m glad I’ve had to re-evaluate my biases. She told me 6 months in and she had never told anyone else close to her. She said she’d rather tell me “now” than wait till she falls even further in love with me and risk losing everything down the line.
11
Her low libido, I’m not a horn dog by any stretch, but completely avoiding and ignoring anything sexual for months on end. I would have like to have known that we are sexually incompatible. I love her with all my heart, we’ve been together for 25 years, but this subject is a source of friction that makes me feel depressed, unloved, and unwanted.
13
It’s the other way around, but my GF is a big fantasy nerd and in order to impress her I pretty much memorized the plot to ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ and read some reviews to actually have an opinion about it before our first date. However, I gave up the game a couple of years later when I forgot about the Red Wedding and had a brain fart by reacting like I hadn’t read the books before. Not only that, we allegedly talked about it before but I had no recollection of ever talking about the event (I mostly just mhm’d and yepped my way through our conversations). So there I was, caught red-handed and I said the only thing I could think to say. “Look, I lied, but it was one of the best lies I ever told because it got us talking and here we are. If I turned back time I’d lie again”.
16
That her list of deal breakers was literally 15-20 items long. And yes, she has a physical list that she typed out which she would add to periodically. When I first saw it, I asked which were her needs, and which were her “wants” in a relationship. She said those were all her needs, and if a man was lacking even one of those things, it was over. Needless to say, I ended up not checking several of those boxes, and now that’s all done.
17
That she cheated on her ex-husband with a colleague that she still works with. This is after 6 months of me openly talking about my own ex-wife having cheated on me. I asked her why she didn’t tell me sooner and she said, “Because I wanted to make sure you fell in love with me first.” I don’t know why I’m still with her.
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