18 Dumb Ways People Almost Got Killed.

Take these stories as a warning.

Published 4 years ago in Facepalm

Take these stories as a warning.

1
I’m Italian but have been living in the UK for two years Guess who looked at the wrong side of the road while a Bus was coming through? Everytime I went back to Italy I risked my life for the same reason by getting used to drive to the left and viceversa

2
Cut my inner ankle on a glass cup. For those who don’t know, an artery is there and I literally sliced through it. Almost bled out. Thankfully didn’t though!

3
Unplugging the washing machine with wet hands. My hand slipped onto the prongs while they were still partially in the outlet, and I think my heart stopped for a second before I yanked the plug free. Definitely do not recommend.

4
I was at a Waterpark in Texas with one of those super tall, straight down slides. They had multiple signs saying things like “DO NOT PUSH OFF BEFORE SLIDING DOWN!” me being an 18 year old idiot and wanting to race my friend, I decided to push off. That extra push started my slow-motion, airborne flight over the slide. I was then staring 100ft down at concrete and my other friend who had his jaw open. What felt like minutes later, I smacked back down onto the slide and made my way down to the bottom. Thank God for the engineers that planned for suicidal idiots like myself.

5
I was at Lake Bled in Slovenia and thought I could easily swim the distance between the shore and the island in the middle with the church on it. Boy was I wrong… about halfway I started getting exhausted and had trouble staying afloat. Then my body kicked into survival mode, the adrenaline started pumping, and I Michael Phelps’d the rest of the way to the island. I ended up paying 5 Euros to have a boat take me back to shore after that harrowing experience.

6
While drunk, I sat down outside…to rest for a moment…on a freezing cold Winter’s night. Fortunately, a passerby noticed me and encouraged me to get inside. I figure I was probably there dozing for several minutes.

7
Came very close (about two inches) to backing into a warehouse rack full of two ton coils of sheet metal when I didn’t realise that my forklift was in reverse.

8
I coughed. Dislocated my C1-C2 vertebrae and spent 6 months in a body halo. Idk how close to death that counts, but be careful when you cough.

9
I walked into a back room freezer of a grocery store. The huge door was designed to close automatically. I knew this and went in and did what I was there to do. After 30 seconds, I couldn’t catch my breath. I thought maybe I was just working to hard so I stopped and took several huge breaths, nothing. I felt like I was drowning out of water. I had to move as quickly as I could back outside of the freezer and feel to my knees gasping when I got out. It was only afterwards I realized for some dumb reason someone kept open dry ice in a cart inside of the freezer. Dry ice removes oxygen out of the air in enclosed spaces. I almost died from lack of oxygen and would have been an icicle when they found me. Don’t fuck with dry ice.

10
GIF I waited over a week with stomach pains in college, thinking it was gas or something. Got so bad I couldn’t sleep, but still waited all night to go to Urgent Care when they opened the next morning, instead of going to the ER. They told me it was my appendix and asked if I wanted an ambulance. I didn’t want to cause a scene and elected to drive to the ER. Got to the ER and vomited in their trash can. Was in surgery within 20 minutes. Was in the hospital for 2 weeks with an NG tube and Catheter. Everyone said I almost died.

11
Drove on an interstate during a hurricane and watched all the cars around me get submerged

12
Grown adult and choked on mozzarella cheese. Was only alone for 20 minutes. Can’t imagine the obituary

13
Almost got my head squashed by a car due to a small pebble making me fall on the main road

14
Swam under a shipyard pier at night (solid concrete above me) and lost my sense of direction. Got lucky and found my way out.

15
Jumping into piles of leaves as a child then when I was 28 I was visiting my mum and she had a pile of leaves in the yard so for shits and giggles I jumped into the pile of leaves to which I discovered was hiding a bear trap which my elderly mother had placed that morning to try and catch a skunk. 79 stitches and a broken arm that was almost amputated because of how bad the break was, this doubles as a PSA to only jump in leaf piles you have made yourself

16
Went to Grand Canyon and tried to be funny and acted like I was gonna slip,[it was snowing], and ended up almost really slipping and falling. Some random guy scolded me like a little kid because he got more scared than me.

18
Stuck my head out the car window bc I wanted to see why dogs loved it. My grandpa didnt notice, rolled up the window, and I choked. He freaked out when he heard the cat like noises (ironic) I was making while my neck was trying to squeeze through the small opening of the window, but kept raising the window in his panic. Eventually he got it and I was left with a red mark on my neck and no closer to understanding dogs.