Local amusement park added a “no blindfolds on rollercoasters” rule because of me. When I was in middle school, my friend and I thought it would enhance the overall experience if we blindfolded ourselves on the biggest roller coaster at a local amusement park. We got one of those pictures they take on the ride and there we are, blindfolded in the middle of a tunnel, having the time of our lives. Looking back, we easily could have strangled ourselves or worse because we literally just used scarves tied around our heads. Next year we went back to the same roller coaster and they had added a “no blindfolds or loose accessories” to the list of rules before the ride.

As a kindergartner I once fell asleep in the bus. When I woke up the bus was in the garage and I had to yell to get someone to get me out. So to this day every bus driver in my school district needs to walk to the back of the bus and check every seat before they park the bus. Seems like a good rule to have.

Minor one, but when I was in elementary school we had one of those bridge-building challenges using toothpicks and hot glue. My partner and I realized if we just coated the entire thing with a thick ass layer of hot glue it would make our bridge strong as hell. So we used like a full pack of hot glue sticks, like 20 of them, it was more glue than toothpicks. So after that they limited the number of glue sticks you could use.

In history class in high school, there was about 10 of us really close friends. We would take every opportunity to make “your mom” jokes. A couple months into class the teacher made us sign a “treaty” promising to stop making fun of each other’s moms. We signed it, and started making fun of each other’s dads.

I got the Ryan’s Steak House buffets in Louisville, KY to put baby changing stations in the men’s bathrooms back in the 90’s.

I got our HR box taken away at work because the HR lady threatened not to pay us if we missed a clock in or clock out (in our defense the phones didn’t always work and the clock in system was really unreliable) and I printed out the law stating that was illegal, highlighted it, and put it in her box when no one was around. She threw an unholy fit and tried to figure out who put it in her box, and from them on everything had to be handed in personally lol.

In middle school i would use sharpies to tattoo myself, other kids thought it was cool so i started charging $1 per drawing wherever they wanted. Principal found out and after i wouldn’t stop, she put a ban on sharpies for the entire school. even the teachers couldn’t bring them in. i’m a tattoo artist now.

A certain institution no longer has an annual contest on St. Patrick’s Day to see who can drink the most shots of kamikazis.

My junior high made a rule against yo-yos in class after I tried to do a trick and my yo-yo flew across the room and broke a glass beaker set. I’m sorry, guys.

When I was younger… “Tampons will not be lit on fire and thrown out the windows of this house!” Look, dad, if you just bought us fireworks I wouldn’t have needed to improvise. But boy oh boy was that a rough period.

I put a croissant in one of those hotel toasters. It soon became engulfed in flames and needed extinguishing. Next day at breakfast they made a sign that said “if you’d like your croissant toasted, please ask a member of staff”

“No more than 4 margaritas per person” on dollar margarita (& beer) night…..In college, some friends and I used to go to a mexican restaurant every Thursday (?) and often on Saturdays for $1 margaritas. As a group, we would go through A LOT….then they put the rule in….then they changed it to $2 margaritas (& $1 draft beers)

Back in the day a radio station had a weekly trivia contest. The prize was a free pizza and movie rental. Somehow my mom figured out which book they were using for the trivia questions. She bought it and memorized all the answers. Each week we would call in immediately. Sometimes we were the first but even if we weren’t it didn’t matter because other people were usually just guessing. We won almost every time. Even though we changed up who would actually make the call they eventually figured out we were all from the same household. So they made it a rule you couldn’t win if your family had already won in the last month or whatever. Up till then, we enjoyed a lot of free pizzas.

“Don’t trick your siblings or friends into eating soap.” I would cut bars of dove soap into pieces, wrap them in old candy wrappers, and pretend like they were mints. I was 8 or 9.

Military school I went to. After me, an adult is required to check the parade cannon to ensure it is clear, and closely monitor the students as they load it. There is to never be another flaming rubber chicken flying over the parade grounds ever again. Circa 1989.

A friend of mine in a military school found out the regs never stated what color the bed sheets for a bed made for inspection had to be in. So this mad man went and bought power ranger sheets and made the perfect regulation bed. I have never seen so many Sgts lose their shit but be unable to do anything since the regs were perfectly followed. Needless to say the next year they were updated to state sheets must be plain white.

When I was walking home from school, I had to walk next to the road to get to my house. I decided to see if I could walk with my eyes closed. I didn’t feel the transition from gravel to road, and the cars didn’t honk at me (as they made a line), because they thought I was deaf. I heard a noise, looked back, and ran off the street into an orchard. Two weeks later, they put up Deaf Child Area signs on both sides of the road I live on.

No typewriters in class. I was kind of a shit kid and while my school allowed us to use laptops, I would play videogames. Primarily Warcraft 3. In class. No sound or anything so I wasn’t being a complete nuisance, but I wasn’t doing my work. A teacher told me I couldn’t use my laptop. I happened to have a 1950’s Remington Quiet-Riter portable, all-mechanical typewriter. It was anything but quiet, with all of the TAKKA TAKKA TAKKA TAKKA… DING! you’d expect from a typewriter. After one full day of studiously taking notes and doing my assignments via typewriter, my teacher said I could use my laptop as long as I didn’t bring the typewriter to class.

My brother and I got into a cattle prod sword fight at a farm store. We shocked the hell out of each other a few times and now they are locked up. We were in our 30’s.