1

The weekend is coming to a close and that means we have to get ready to get back to the grindstone and deal with those annoying coworkers for another 5 days.

We've collected another batch of tweets to get you ready to dive right in and survive your way through the work week. Enjoy!

2

Yeah, sorry maybe in my 20s a two drink minimum and mediocre comedy was a fun Tuesday night, but not anymore.

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It's a risk I'm not willing to take.

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I'm glad someone reliable and kind-hearted said it.

5

Women never want to see men happy, and this man is thriving.

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What class was this? Can I audit? Who is the professor? I need answers, people!

8

Bro who is dressing their child up as Jeff Dahmer lol.

9

What if I pee myself? What if I stain a pair? What if 8 other pair of pants magically disappear? Gotta be prepared.

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Oh I'm not allowed to use weapons anymore?? So be it.

12

Dr. Sleeper literally and medically putting patients to sleep is a boss move.

13

Friends/couples all know the one button to press that will set the place on fire.

14

She sacrificed herself so the world could live in happiness.

15

If everyone were this nice on the road, there would be zero accidents.

16

"What do you MEAN you didn't bring 5 forms of ID and your baby footprint from the day you were born???

17

This is all they eat, right?

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You literally ate a bean in coffee form. That's not food.

21

Who took this picture of me? I want to know.