Human ingenuity is nearly boundless, with new technological advancements coming seemingly every day. We also create things like the Yodel Meter. Well, they can’t all be winners.
These zany inventions are all over the place, but they all share one quality: they have not stood the test of time. Take a look at some of the strangest ideas throughout history that people have brought to life
1
Massage helmet
An air-powered scalp massager from the 1960s. Also protects from psychic intrusion.
2
Portable radio hat
Invented in 1931. The old-timey equivalent of blasting your bluetooth speaker on the subway.
3
Spaghetti Aid
The Spaghetti Aid, invented in 1955, was designed to help twirl pasta on your fork. Or you could, you know, just turn your fork.
4
Swimming tires
Bicycle tires used as swimming aids in 1925. I don’t know about the function, but the fashion definitely isn’t its strong suit.
5
Monocycle
One-wheel motorcycle, invented in Germany in 1925. Look, I know I went from a tricycle to a bicycle as I got older, but I’m good sticking with two wheels for now.
6
Amphibious bike
This bizarre-looking vehicle was invented in 1932. For riding into the ocean while wearing a full suit, never to be seen again.
7
All-terrain car
Designed in 1936 to descend slopes of up to 65 degrees. This thing looks like a semi-truck just sneezed.
8
Piano for the bedridden
Designed in 1935 for use by people who were confined to their bed by sickness, but also very useful for people who are too lazy to get up in the morning but still feel like performing a toccata.
9
Fan-powered car
Created in the 1910s, this fan-powered car was not a big hit. All I can imagine is dozens of pedestrians on the sidewalk being blown to the ground as this thing drives by at a cool 15 miles per hour.
10
Gun camera
Invented in 1938, this device took a picture at the moment you pulled the trigger. I don’t know about you, but I’m at my most photogenic with a gun in my face.
11
Folding bridge for emergencies
The Netherlands, 1926. Before this invention, if an emergency happened on the other side of a small river, you’d have to throw up your hands and watch helplessly.
12
Gas-resistant stroller
For protection from gas attacks during wartime in England, 1938. Don’t tap the glass.
13
Siamese dancing shoes
These Siamese dancing shoes, created in 1981, were likely a joke. They would also likely make you and your boo look like a joke on the dance floor.
14
Urban window baby cage
Used in the 1930s, it was dubbed by Time as one of the 50 worst inventions of all time, even though it provides overworked mothers with a few peaceful minutes of quiet.
15
The Yodel Meter
Circa 1925. Finally a way to tell how yodel-y a yodeller’s yodels are, on a scale from 0-100.
16
Family bicycle
Invented by Charles Steinlauf in 1932. Even on a bike ride, the wife is expected to be using the sewing machine.
17
Chain smoking device
An invention from the 1950s that allowed the user to inhale multiple cigarettes at once. For those impatient smokers who just don’t feel like waiting around for lung cancer.
18
Dynasphere
British inventor John Purves created the Dynasphere in the early 1930s. It could hit speeds of up to 30 miles per hour. It had only one wheel, but somehow still couldn’t fit in a garage.
19
Anti-bandit briefcase
This anti-bandit briefcase from the 1950s would launch its contents across the ground if a thief tried to grab it. You’d better hope nobody tries to rob you while it’s raining!
20
Rain goggles for race car drivers
These goggles from the 1930s had built-in wipers to clear off rain. They were overtaken by a more well-known invention– the windshield.
21
Spring shoes
Created in the 1930s. Let’s be real: if these don’t help you jump higher, then what’s the point?
22
Glowing tires
The V-shaped bed was invented by Joseph Pilates in 1930. He believed that traditional beds were not comfortable enough, and created this monstrosity. Joseph Pilates’s exercise method may have stood the test of time, but this bed definitely didn’t.
23
V-shaped bed
The V-shaped bed was invented by Joseph Pilates in 1930. He believed that traditional beds were not comfortable enough, and created this monstrosity. Joseph Pilates’s exercise method may have stood the test of time, but this bed definitely didn’t.
24
Churchill’s Pressurized Egg
Before aircraft pressurization was mainstream, Winston Churchill had scientists build him a special pressurized egg to keep him healthy during aviation. It was rejected for its size and weight, and honestly, probably also for its weirdness.
