Life is like a box of chocolates.

It's surprisingly expensive, involves far more plastic than it should, and is usually less calorie-dense when accompanied by active participants. Unlike a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get. This is because life is an entropic soup of action and inaction that doesn't print exactly what you're going to get on its packaging.

But if it did, it might have used some of these things to stand out on the shelves of existential Walmart.