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“Chose The Wrong Spaghetti Sauce? Put Your Bolognese Into The Washing Machine And Start Afresh!”

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“Having A Shitty Day? Put On Sunglasses! Now You’re Having A Shitty Evening.”

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“The lid on most medicine containers can be used to measure serving size!” (I can’t stress enough how not-true that is…)

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“Phone battery at 50%? Cut it in half to make it 100% full! Works on all types of batteries!”

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“If you don’t have enough to light a candle, take a match and concentrate its light on the wick of the candle with a magnifying glass.”

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“Don’t feel like paying for food?”

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“Food seasoning cost too much? Check your sidewalks, people are throwing out perfectly good seasoning salt for free!”