25 Great Insults That Don’t Require Cursing

Toonacious Published 06/01/2022 in Funny

Are you looking for interesting ways to verbally annihilate the people who've been terrible to you? Here's a brief list of creative but funny insults from Ask Reddit that'll come in handy the next time someone irritates you.

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1. “You’re not the dumbest person on earth, but you better hope they don’t die.”
2. “My mum’s favorite is “don’t think, it hurts the team.”
3. "I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an over-abundance of schooling."
4. "Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."
5. “I would challenge you to a fight of wits, but I see you are unarmed!" says Shakespeare.
6. “Straight from Shakespeare "I wish we could become better strangers."
7. “Bless their heart.”
8. “In Australia you can pretty much call anyone an idiot by adding “you absolute” to any word. My fave is “you absolute paperclip!”
9. “I envy people who have never met you.”
10. “I'm angry that your parents met.”
11. “I hope that your socks never get quite dry enough.”
12. “Your bloodline is weak and history will forget you.”
13. “Your mom should’ve swallowed you.”
14. “Not really an insult, but I throw pet names back at guys that use them on me. Example: a coworker said "pass me that box there, sweet heart" to which I replied "get it yourself, champ."
15. “My interactions with you have forced me to change my stance on abortion.”
16. “You have the gift of being able to brighten any room just by leaving."
17. "If you gained one brain cell it would be real lonely."
18. “(Look at their outfit and/or hairstyle) "You're so brave!"
19. “Mouthbreather.”
20. “You're in America. You're free to have all the wrong opinions you want.”
21. "Go play in traffic!"
22. “If I were to agree with you, we would both be wrong.”
23. “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!”
24. “A well placed sigh.”
25. “Shut up ya muffin sniffer”

1. “You’re not the dumbest person on earth, but you better hope they don’t die.”
2. “My mum’s favorite is “don’t think, it hurts the team.”
3. "I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an over-abundance of schooling."
4. "Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."
5. “I would challenge you to a fight of wits, but I see you are unarmed!" says Shakespeare.
6. “Straight from Shakespeare "I wish we could become better strangers."
7. “Bless their heart.”
8. “In Australia you can pretty much call anyone an idiot by adding “you absolute” to any word. My fave is “you absolute paperclip!”
9. “I envy people who have never met you.”
10. “I'm angry that your parents met.”
11. “I hope that your socks never get quite dry enough.”
12. “Your bloodline is weak and history will forget you.”
13. “Your mom should’ve swallowed you.”
14. “Not really an insult, but I throw pet names back at guys that use them on me. Example: a coworker said "pass me that box there, sweet heart" to which I replied "get it yourself, champ."
15. “My interactions with you have forced me to change my stance on abortion.”
16. “You have the gift of being able to brighten any room just by leaving."
17. "If you gained one brain cell it would be real lonely."
18. “(Look at their outfit and/or hairstyle) "You're so brave!"
19. “Mouthbreather.”
20. “You're in America. You're free to have all the wrong opinions you want.”
21. "Go play in traffic!"
22. “If I were to agree with you, we would both be wrong.”
23. “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!”
24. “A well placed sigh.”
25. “Shut up ya muffin sniffer”