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25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

Sex and dirty talk go together like peanut butter and jelly. But what about people who are allergic to peanut butter? There are some people...

By PocketEpiphany

Published 3 years ago in Funny

Sex and dirty talk go together like peanut butter and jelly. But what about people who are allergic to peanut butter?

There are some people who basically never swear during sex. Check out these absolutely crazy things they say instead!
  • 1

    Jolly good show, what!

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 2

    Great. Googlymoogly

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 3

    I don’t say anything

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 4

    Gollygee that was bonkers!

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 5

    Hold on. I read a legit Victorian sex book once that was hilarious. After pages of chaste blue-ballery and heaving breasts, the finale was described as…. “I put spurs to my lusty steed, driving him at full force, until we collapsed in a mutual spend.” I challenge you all to say that out loud during sex or at least use some of the terms.

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 6

    Probably Star Wars quotes. “Stay on target. Stay on target.”

    “Negative. It didn’t go in. It just impacted on the surface.”

    “Get in there ya big hairy oaf, I don’t care what you smell!”

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 7

    "I love you"

    "You feel so good" "You are amazing" "You and me forever"

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 8

    My girlfriend’s go-to isn’t “oh yes” or “oh f*ck”, but “oh I love you” which I like.

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 9

    I’ve arrived.

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 10

    Almost, almost...there we are.

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 11

    For someone whose first language isn't English, this is such a weird question. Why on earth would you be swearing at each other during sex?

    Even something like yelling "f*ck" is really strange when you think about it, because you're basically shouting "Have sex! Have sex!" while having sex. Like you're some kind of sex-themed Pokemon.

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 12

    Boom goes the dynamite!

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 13

    Bazinga.

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 14

    One time my wife told me not to be quite so “nice” during sex, so the next time during the act I told her that her meatloaf was dry.

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 15

    So if you could just...yeah, that'd be great.

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 16

    I’m bout to sho0o0o0o0o0o0t !!!

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 17

    Screaming. Ear piercing screams.

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 18

    My ex: Fish buckets Catzzzz's Holy fish buckets Balloons Oh oh my .... ugh catzzz! Balloons in fish buckets Piper Pi-pi-piper!

    I wanted to duct tape his mouth during sex but I couldn't get consent.

    He was not religious...just believed words have energy and cuss words had negative energy. If that's true, I am already doomed to hell, lol.

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 19

    “Sweet Christmas!!”

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 20

    Weirdly enough, although I do swear occasionally, I don't swear during sex. Dirty talking to me is talking about what I'm doing, what I wanna do, what she wants me to do... But no swearing. It's not a rule, it just doesn't come to mind during sex.

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 21

    I'm British so it goes something like this:

    Oh what fun! I am about to arrive! I cannot wait for the cuppa tea I'm going to have after this! Tally ho!

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 22

    Sometimes it’s heavy breathing or wordless vocalizing and moans, sometimes it’s his name, sometimes “oh” or “oh darling” or “my love” or “wow” or “that feels so good “. Sometimes even high-pitched squeaks or squeals. Just depends each time.

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 23

    "OH FRIGGEN HECK YES THIS IS SO ENJOYABLE M'LADY"

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 24

    Oh Carl oh carl oh Carl, at least that's what I've always said

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

  • 25

    Yes like that, lighter, faster, harder; mostly instructions.

    25 SFW Phrases To Use in the Bedroom

Categories:

Funny Facepalm

Tags:

sex sexuality men women dirty talk swearing almost there ive that would great good boom
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