1

“Apparently I’m allergic to every grass and tree species in my state..”

2

“There were mountain lion tracks on my driveway. I live in a wooded community and go out to the bus alone at 6 AM.”

3

“LPT: don’t use your favorite shirt to open a soda bottle.”

4

“Yes, this was freshly made hot sauce.”

5

6

“If you thought smoking at a gas pump was bad…”

7

“Lamborghini Huracan flooded due to rain in São Paulo. It was not insured.”

8

9

“Guess who stepped on a nail today?”

10

“Accidentally glued the rear view mirror mounting tab on backwards and then broke the windshield trying to take it back off.”

11

“My hair straightener almost fell on the floor. Don’t worry, I caught it!!”

12

“Hand sanitizer dripped on to my brand new dress shoes.”

13

14

“Got up this morning and went to have a shower..”

15

“Drove by this 300 year old chopped down tree earlier.”

16

“Didn’t measure my cat and bought a carrying pack way too small for him.”

17

“I stepped on lego.”

18

19

20

“Model S came in earlier, fell off the delivery truck.”

21

“Neighbor is having some trees removed, and this happened when a big log fell and shook the house.”

22

23

“Someone in Australia was tying their shoe when a Fire Bombing plane had to drop their load due to turbulence.”

24

“Guess who put their foot through the crotch of their pants at 5am this morning with only 2 hours left of a 24 hour shift and didn’t bring an extra uniform.. am paramedic.. still got 1.5 hours left..”

25

“None of the previous owners of my 1951 house ever had the vents cleaned out.”

26

“My glass door was scratching my floor so i thought a little lift would help… instead i unplugged my door from the wall and it crushed into the floor at 6 a.m.”

27

“Finally got the pictures from my cruise developed…”

28

“Just got a shipment of my shoes, they are two different types and two different sizes.”