They say that you can't say something nice, you shouldn't say anything at all. But why restrict yourself when you can have the best of both worlds? One of the best ways to
really skewer someone is with the kind of
cold, merciless wit that lays down the law and does so in an artful -- and often hilarious -- way. Down below are some of the most vicious backhanded compliments ever doled out in the history of insults.
1
It’s a good thing you’re so pretty.
2
Back in the 1980s, New Zealand's prime minister said that anyone who chose to emigrate from New Zealand to Australia could be proud that they were raising the average IQ of both countries.
3
You’re pretty for an (insert ethnicity) girl.
5
“You’re really smart for someone with your job” (I’m a professional dogwalker) Dude, just because I choose to do this work doesn’t mean I couldn’t do something else. I just love this and followed my passion.
6
Awww it's such a waste you're a lesbian.
7
"I can see that you're trying." (When someone shows you something they worked hard on, and it's the only positive thing you can think of to say.)
8
“You’re the son I never had.” Thanks, dad.
9
This is amazing! Who helped you cook this?"
10
Friend of mine in high school got a “compliment” from a teacher, “you’re so pretty for a black girl”
11
“Oh you’re smarter than you look”
12
I got a "you're looking pretty good for a guy in their 40's". Well, that's nice i guess, but I was 35 at the time.
13
"Wow, you smell a lot nicer than usual!"
14
I always get "Wow, we used to think you were a real b***h but you're actually really nice!" from friends at some point. It makes me so sad that I'm a naturally shy person around a new group of people. It makes me so self-conscious when I meet new people because I know that line and it's variants will eventually be said again.
15
"Are you twins??? " Said the cashier to me and my brother... who's 12 years older than me... Edit: of course my brother took it as a compliment... that little-
16
I used to be told frequently that I looked like a teenager when I was in my 20s and early 30s. I know they didn't mean it rude, but I most certainly didn't want to look 17 while pushing my kid around in a stroller at 30. I remember catching someone looking at me when I was pregnant and I could see the judgement in their eyes so I not so subtly put my left hand on my stomach so the person could see my engagement ring and wedding band.
17
"You're so skinny!! What's your secret?" An eating disorder, babe.
18
I love when I wear makeup and people say “Did you get a good nights sleep? You don’t look tired today!” Doesn’t matter how much or how little sleep I get, I always have very dark circles under my eyes. It’s genetic. So no, I’m not tired… That’s literally just my face.
19
"You're very beautiful for your age." or "I can tell you were beautiful when you were younger."
20
There’s the classic, “I don’t care what they say about you, you’re alright.”
21
My auntie once said to me: You know, you used to be a bit funny looking as you were growing up but you have turned in to a really handsome chap. I really didn't know what to make of that, if I should be happy or offended.
22
Asian American here. "Whoa, you don't have an accent at all!"
23
"I hope your day is as pleasant as you are."
24
Wow you don't seem autistic at all!
25
Such a pretty face, if you would just lose some weight dear...
26
Anything that ends with "for you." That's great hat, for you. But its the perfect size, for you.
27
While walking next to me "Wow I didn't realize how short you are!" I always reply with it's because my personality is 10 feet tall!
28
“I love how you’ll just wear anything” -John Mulany
29
"You look soooo cute in cheap clothes. i could never pull that off omg"
30
You're so brave for wearing that dress.
