30 Stupid Things People Once Did.
Some real facepalm situations.
Published 3 years ago
2
I drilled into the side of my thigh with a 10mm drill bit while drilling holes through the bottom of one of my girlfriends flower pots. Edit: This was just a few seconds after it happened before it started bleeding. The bruising is from my skin wrapping around the drill and pulling away from my flesh.
5
One of my ex's and I met in the city. We always went on dates in the city and never close to where we lived. I had just moved to the area, I had heard of the place he lived in but didn't think it was close to where I lived, and never really thought about it. Then I started staying over at his place, and when I was going home the following afternoons I would take the tram into city centre (~20 minutes) and then get the bus to my house (another ~40 minutes). I honestly thought the village he lived in was far from my house so I took the route I knew. Turns out he lives a 10 minute walk away. I did this like 8 times.
8
The girl of my dreams came back to my place after dinner and drinks, we had been friends for a long time but never a hint of anything more. I was in a sleeping bag, on the floor. She told me "Hey, you can jump up under the quilt to get warm" and my response was "Oh, this sleeping bag is really warm!" It wasn't until the next day that I realized what I had done. ...Wow. Thinking about this makes me really depressed :(
10
I work as a substitute middle school teacher. At the beginning of each day the kids listen to the announcements. One time they announced that one of the students who had been battling cancer passed away the night before. So me, being the great guy I am, give the students five minutes of time to sit quietly and reflect. Then I decide to lighten the mood by calling attendance, so I use a bizarre inflection to entertain the students. Called out "Tyler?", no response. Call it out again, no response. Finally one student piped up and said that was the kid that died the day before. This was after I called his name out several times with differing tones of voice to be comical, while all the students saw was me bashing the dead kid. F**k.
12
Opened up a carton of orange juice and noticed it said shake well before use. Proceeded to violently shake the holy hell out of the carton as it rained vitamin C goodness over the kitchen and me. Housemate walked in and asked "what the f**k is wrong with you?" as if I'd done it on purpose and was thoroughly enjoying my OJ shower
13
Let's see, where to start. I once killed a pint of vodka, straight, on a dare. Spent the rest of the night ralphing. I fell for a prank of laying a stick across a shovel handle and then stomping the shovel spade to see how high the stick would go. I had my windshield tinted to 5% on my car. I sent a Nairobi prince some cash so I'd get a big return. I really did. I voted for Ross Perot in '92. I volunteered for several things in boot camp without knowing what they were. I rear ended a cop car. During the questioning, I got the involuntary giggles and when the cop asked if I thought it was funny, I said "Yes." In little league, I chased a ball under the bleachers from the back side. Imagine running fast as the bleacher seats get lower and lower. Cracked my head open. Hit on a starting linebacker's girlfriend at a frat party. I even knew it was his girlfriend. Noticed my "low oil pressure" light on in the car; decided I could make it to the next exit 10 miles away. Took bowling as a HYPERS class in college. Cheated on the final exam and got caught. Decided to jump in the water to p**s; left the boat in gear. Spent a half hour trying to pick up a quarter someone had super glued to a sidewalk. I'm really not as dumb as all this sounds. I'm just...impulsive.
19
Back to girls house after dinner. She has early class the next day so gets ready for bed, but says I can stay and keep her company for a while. Laying in her bed, she's in silk pajamas, I'm fully clothed. We're just talking. I start running my hand up and down her back. She says "mmmm.... you'd better stop that, I'm getting turned on" So I stopped. Like a F*****g idiot.
22
Last weekend my friend asked for a ride across town since he left his phone at a bar the previous night. Somehow I heard "car" instead of "phone" so dropped him off and drove home. I don't answer calls while I'm driving since I'm a bad driver too, so didn't realize I missed three of his calls til I got home. I'm sure there's others but my memories going pretty fast as well.
24
After a night of drinking, we went back to my then-boyfriend's place to chill. He turned on the tv, but I had other ideas. I pulled the rolling chair away from his computer desk, placing myself between him & the tv. I turned the chair backward threw my leg over in what I thought was going to be a seductive manner, whipping my hair a little. Ended up putting my foot down on the edge of the wheelie part on the other side, rolled my ankle, and my momentum carried me all the way over to the floor. I hit the ground, the chair back smashed my face, and my nose started bleeding. Not my brightest moment.
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