Human beings, for all our many virtues, are not always the best at staying alive. Aside from the fact that we were born as squishy, easily-punctured meatbags of blood without any of the armor, talons or inches-thick skin that some of our other animal companions flaunt, we tend to do stupid things.
Sometimes, in the back of our minds, we're dimly aware that what we're doing is less than wise. Other times, however, we simply have no idea how dumb we're being when we keep our toaster next to the bathtub for a few slices of late-night bath toast. Information is what kept us alive in the absence of physical gifts, and a lack of information can cost us dearly.
Down below is a collection of
handy tips that just might be what keeps your mortal soul tethered to this earthly plane one day.
1
If you are ever trapped in a car, the headrest pole is made of material that is designed to smash car windows.
2
If your house smells like fish for absolutely no reason there may be an electric fire
3
Use this helpful rhyme to remember what to do in the event of facing each kind of bear "If it's brown - lay down, if it's black - fight back, if it's white - goodnight"
4
If you think your home is haunted and you've been seeing or hearing a presence, get a carbon monoxide detector, there's a chance you could be hallucinating and this could be lethal
5
If a moose is in the middle of the road, it's better to just swerve and run into a ditch because hitting a moose is like hitting a brick wall.
6
If you have a wound or bug bite and there's this kind of weird red line, that's blood poisoning.
7
When crying for help, try and call some specific people like "hey, you in the red shirt, help, I'm being mugged!" A lot of people will ignore a help call so if you call someone specifically they'll look at you. If people are really ignoring your help call you can just try and yell "fire!" because people are going to come running to see stuff burning.
8
Do not slide into the pins at a bowling alley as a joke. The pin setting machine will crush you
9
If a service dog ever approaches you without its owner, follow them and do it quickly because you could be saving someone else's life.
10
If you need to break into a car window aim for the edges and corners because it's weaker than the center.
11
If someone tries to kidnap you, scratch your attacker because now their DNA will be in your fingernails
12
If you have tightness in the middle of your chest that goes to your jaw and your shoulders or down your left arm, chew an aspirin and wash it down with water, then call emergency services. You are having a heart attack and this could save your life. Females will have pain in their upper back between the shoulder blades.
13
If lost in the woods, always follow the water downstream.
14
If you ever come face to face with a mountain lion, don't turn around, just walk backwards, they will be waiting for you to turn around before they attack you.
15
Keep a survival candle in your car when you're in cold areas because the heat from one candle can keep you from fatal freezing. And these candles can last up to 36 hours.
16
Milk from brown coconuts will dehydrate you, drink the green ones.
17
If you witness an accident, never take off the person's helmet, you can make a spine or brain injury worse
18
Never mix bleach and ammonia because the result is a poisonous gas that will take your life.
19
If you wake up in the middle of the night to the smell of gas do not turn your light switch on it could blow up your whole house
20
If you ever, for some reason, ingest windshield wiper fluid, drink a lot of vodka (90-120ml), so that it prevents your kidneys from shredding and gives you time to go to the hospital.
21
Too much cold snow in your stomach can cause you to pass away of hypothermia. If snow is all you have, melt the ice then drink it
22
If your belly hurts on the lower right side of your stomach, push down on the lower left side. If that produces more pain, it's likely appendicitis
23
If you're ever in a foreign country 112 is the international 911
24
If you are ever buried in rubble, yelling will just waste energy, try and grab something and tap it in intervals of three, rescuers will notice the pattern.
25
Most drunk driving fatalities occur on Saturday mornings between 1 am and 3 am. Avoid the roads at this time if you can
26
If you're ever trapped in a building on fire get to the ground because the most breathable air will always be at the lowest point
27
If you accidentally disturb a beehive, do not go underwater, they will just wait for you and sting you more. Run as far away as possible and they will eventually tire out
28
The more colorful and vivid the animal the more likely it's poisonous.
29
If you ever see square waves in the ocean get out immediately
30
If a power line falls next to you don't run or walk. Just put your feet together and bunny hop like this. That way the electricity can't go up one leg and down the other.
