30 Parents Who Should be Permanently Banned From Naming Children

solidsnake4545 Published 05/30/2022 in Funny

Names are a powerful thing; we shouldn't bestow them lightly. Richards, Karens, Kyles, Chads -- they all have enough trouble existing with their own relatively innocuous names. But some kids... some kids just never had a chance.

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1. Ohnasti. Supposedly pronounced “Honesty” but all I’ll ever see is “Oh Nasty!”
2. One little girl got her name legally changed in court, because her parents named her Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.
3. Abcde (pronounced Ab-city).
4. Any name based on a popular TV series or movie. Like, if I see your daughter is named Khaleesi, I think significantly less of you as a person.
5. Not so much a specific name, but gross butcherings of names. Ie. Kaightlynne instead of Caitlyn.
6. Renesmee
7. I was once checking in a customer for service. EmoChanel And she was very proud of it.
8. I was on a little league baseball team with these two brothers named Doer and Achiever. Talk about pressure to perform, those parents had expectations.
9. So my Wife was giving birth to our first Son and the midwife asked if we’d chosen a name yet. We said yes and told her ‘Seth’. She replied “Oh thank goodness, a normal name! The last woman in here named her child Precious Bunny!”
10. I used to write on cakes, the worst name I ever saw was "Tuba Poo". I asked if it was a nickname, it was not. It's been like 6 years and it still haunts me. Her mother's name was Natalie, why Natalie? Why?
11. A co-worker has a friend who named her daughters Vengeance and Violence.
12. The overly matchy names to the point of ridiculousness. My top example is a set of brothers named Romance, Romantic, and Romeo.
13. Back when I worked with children, I met a young lass named Younique. I felt sorry for her. She was only 4-5 at the time, and the moment she entered school, she began to hate it because the other children thought that it was silly and wouldn’t play with her. Eventually, the dad of another child said that it was a bad name *to her face.* Seriously. Don’t do things like this to your children. They aren’t pets. They’ll have to deal with the repercussions of your bad naming choices.
14. Someone I know is a nurse in the ER so they've delivered quite a few babies. But one day they said that one set of parents decided to name their kid Ssss. You pronounce Ssss, Forest.
15. Baby. As in the Dirty Dancing lead female. Because nobody in the professional world is going to want their name to be Baby.
16. Kash. It isn't the worst name in the world but the fact his second name was 'Ransom', made it a whole lot worse. Kash Ransom.
17. Saw a fun name on the attendance sheet (so this is official) of one of my classes: Daddyboi
18. MyLuv (yes, I have met a kid named this). That poor kid is probably not going to be successful, unless they change their name later on.
19. I went to high school with a one "Crystal Shanda Lear." This was back before dumb names were the rage. She would have been named that in, say, 81-82. Poor girl. I don't know that I lost respect for the parents so much as felt bad for her to be saddled with that s**t.
20. I lose respect for parents who give their kids first names that when added to their given last names become horrible. The parents don't even care that their kid has to live with it. Two real examples I've come across are Richard Sieman (The guy's name is D**k Semen, for f***s sake.) And even worse, Desire Cox.
21. Anaesthasia. No s**t. Her name on her school documents was Anaesthasia.
22. One of my former employees had the first name “Baby Destiny.” Yes. Really. Worse still, HR just put “Baby” on her name badge. For every time I had to catch myself and say the full name so I didn’t sound like a creep, I can only imagine how many other people didn’t realize there were two words in her name and had to refer to her as just Baby. Or how she must have felt to have EVERYONE calling her Baby.
23. Royalty. Legit worked with this hood dude named royalty. I think it kinda speaks for itself.
24. You know the Duggar family (19 Kids and Counting)? One of their daughters named their son Spurgeon. SPURGEON.
25. I knew three sisters names -Autumn-Breeze, Summer-Skye and April-Rain. Bonus addition one of them had a kid and named it Gidget. Edit for those wondering: This is in Eastern Canada.
26. One time when I was working at a motel, I took a reservation over the phone from a woman for her daughter: Woman: Her name is Sri Lanka, S R I space L A N K A... Me: Oh, you mean like the country! Woman: Whaddaya mean, country?!?
27. There is a kid at my school literally named Shadow Black.
28. Tequila, but pronounced tuh-quill-uh
29. Strap in and prepare for rough seas! My mom is a midwife and one day she came home with what she thought was the epitome of dumb names. These parents had just gotten back from a trip to the states, where they had visited a dock to look at boats, and one of those beautiful boats had an even more beautiful and exotic name, they wanted to name their baby daughter after this boat. Usnavy My mom is a saint for not laughing.
30. Prancer and Vixen for babies born during the Christmas season.

1. Ohnasti. Supposedly pronounced “Honesty” but all I’ll ever see is “Oh Nasty!”
2. One little girl got her name legally changed in court, because her parents named her Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.
3. Abcde (pronounced Ab-city).
4. Any name based on a popular TV series or movie. Like, if I see your daughter is named Khaleesi, I think significantly less of you as a person.
5. Not so much a specific name, but gross butcherings of names. Ie. Kaightlynne instead of Caitlyn.
6. Renesmee
7. I was once checking in a customer for service. EmoChanel And she was very proud of it.
8. I was on a little league baseball team with these two brothers named Doer and Achiever. Talk about pressure to perform, those parents had expectations.
9. So my Wife was giving birth to our first Son and the midwife asked if we’d chosen a name yet. We said yes and told her ‘Seth’. She replied “Oh thank goodness, a normal name! The last woman in here named her child Precious Bunny!”
10. I used to write on cakes, the worst name I ever saw was "Tuba Poo". I asked if it was a nickname, it was not. It's been like 6 years and it still haunts me. Her mother's name was Natalie, why Natalie? Why?
11. A co-worker has a friend who named her daughters Vengeance and Violence.
12. The overly matchy names to the point of ridiculousness. My top example is a set of brothers named Romance, Romantic, and Romeo.
13. Back when I worked with children, I met a young lass named Younique. I felt sorry for her. She was only 4-5 at the time, and the moment she entered school, she began to hate it because the other children thought that it was silly and wouldn’t play with her. Eventually, the dad of another child said that it was a bad name *to her face.* Seriously. Don’t do things like this to your children. They aren’t pets. They’ll have to deal with the repercussions of your bad naming choices.
14. Someone I know is a nurse in the ER so they've delivered quite a few babies. But one day they said that one set of parents decided to name their kid Ssss. You pronounce Ssss, Forest.
15. Baby. As in the Dirty Dancing lead female. Because nobody in the professional world is going to want their name to be Baby.
16. Kash. It isn't the worst name in the world but the fact his second name was 'Ransom', made it a whole lot worse. Kash Ransom.
17. Saw a fun name on the attendance sheet (so this is official) of one of my classes: Daddyboi
18. MyLuv (yes, I have met a kid named this). That poor kid is probably not going to be successful, unless they change their name later on.
19. I went to high school with a one "Crystal Shanda Lear." This was back before dumb names were the rage. She would have been named that in, say, 81-82. Poor girl. I don't know that I lost respect for the parents so much as felt bad for her to be saddled with that s**t.
20. I lose respect for parents who give their kids first names that when added to their given last names become horrible. The parents don't even care that their kid has to live with it. Two real examples I've come across are Richard Sieman (The guy's name is D**k Semen, for f***s sake.) And even worse, Desire Cox.
21. Anaesthasia. No s**t. Her name on her school documents was Anaesthasia.
22. One of my former employees had the first name “Baby Destiny.” Yes. Really. Worse still, HR just put “Baby” on her name badge. For every time I had to catch myself and say the full name so I didn’t sound like a creep, I can only imagine how many other people didn’t realize there were two words in her name and had to refer to her as just Baby. Or how she must have felt to have EVERYONE calling her Baby.
23. Royalty. Legit worked with this hood dude named royalty. I think it kinda speaks for itself.
24. You know the Duggar family (19 Kids and Counting)? One of their daughters named their son Spurgeon. SPURGEON.
25. I knew three sisters names -Autumn-Breeze, Summer-Skye and April-Rain. Bonus addition one of them had a kid and named it Gidget. Edit for those wondering: This is in Eastern Canada.
26. One time when I was working at a motel, I took a reservation over the phone from a woman for her daughter: Woman: Her name is Sri Lanka, S R I space L A N K A... Me: Oh, you mean like the country! Woman: Whaddaya mean, country?!?
27. There is a kid at my school literally named Shadow Black.
28. Tequila, but pronounced tuh-quill-uh
29. Strap in and prepare for rough seas! My mom is a midwife and one day she came home with what she thought was the epitome of dumb names. These parents had just gotten back from a trip to the states, where they had visited a dock to look at boats, and one of those beautiful boats had an even more beautiful and exotic name, they wanted to name their baby daughter after this boat. Usnavy My mom is a saint for not laughing.
30. Prancer and Vixen for babies born during the Christmas season.

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30 Parents Who Should be Permanently Banned From Naming Children

1. Ohnasti. Supposedly pronounced “Honesty” but all I’ll ever see is “Oh Nasty!”

2. One little girl got her name legally changed in court, because her parents named her Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.

3. Abcde (pronounced Ab-city).

4. Any name based on a popular TV series or movie. Like, if I see your daughter is named Khaleesi, I think significantly less of you as a person.

5. Not so much a specific name, but gross butcherings of names. Ie. Kaightlynne instead of Caitlyn.

6. Renesmee

7. I was once checking in a customer for service. EmoChanel And she was very proud of it.

8. I was on a little league baseball team with these two brothers named Doer and Achiever. Talk about pressure to perform, those parents had expectations.

9. So my Wife was giving birth to our first Son and the midwife asked if we’d chosen a name yet. We said yes and told her ‘Seth’. She replied “Oh thank goodness, a normal name! The last woman in here named her child Precious Bunny!”

10. I used to write on cakes, the worst name I ever saw was "Tuba Poo". I asked if it was a nickname, it was not. It's been like 6 years and it still haunts me. Her mother's name was Natalie, why Natalie? Why?

11. A co-worker has a friend who named her daughters Vengeance and Violence.

12. The overly matchy names to the point of ridiculousness. My top example is a set of brothers named Romance, Romantic, and Romeo.

14. Someone I know is a nurse in the ER so they've delivered quite a few babies. But one day they said that one set of parents decided to name their kid Ssss. You pronounce Ssss, Forest.

15. Baby. As in the Dirty Dancing lead female. Because nobody in the professional world is going to want their name to be Baby.

16. Kash. It isn't the worst name in the world but the fact his second name was 'Ransom', made it a whole lot worse. Kash Ransom.

17. Saw a fun name on the attendance sheet (so this is official) of one of my classes: Daddyboi

18. MyLuv (yes, I have met a kid named this). That poor kid is probably not going to be successful, unless they change their name later on.

19. I went to high school with a one "Crystal Shanda Lear." This was back before dumb names were the rage. She would have been named that in, say, 81-82. Poor girl. I don't know that I lost respect for the parents so much as felt bad for her to be saddled with that s**t.

21. Anaesthasia. No s**t. Her name on her school documents was Anaesthasia.

23. Royalty. Legit worked with this hood dude named royalty. I think it kinda speaks for itself.

24. You know the Duggar family (19 Kids and Counting)? One of their daughters named their son Spurgeon. SPURGEON.

25. I knew three sisters names -Autumn-Breeze, Summer-Skye and April-Rain. Bonus addition one of them had a kid and named it Gidget. Edit for those wondering: This is in Eastern Canada.

26. One time when I was working at a motel, I took a reservation over the phone from a woman for her daughter: Woman: Her name is Sri Lanka, S R I space L A N K A... Me: Oh, you mean like the country! Woman: Whaddaya mean, country?!?

27. There is a kid at my school literally named Shadow Black.

28. Tequila, but pronounced tuh-quill-uh

30. Prancer and Vixen for babies born during the Christmas season.

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