Pilot here. Don’t ask if we were out late last night drinking. You may say it as a joke and think it’s funny but we have to take those comments seriously. There is a chance that comment will force the pilots to go take a breathalyzer and your flight may be delayed or canceled. If you honestly smell booze speak up. If not it’s not funny and keep your mouth shut.

Poking or grabbing at me to get my attention!! And it’s usually on my ass as it’s eye level with most people haha. But for real DON’T poke people! Especially if I am speaking to another passenger. I can see you waving at me I’m not going to interrupt my assisting someone else because you want me to take your trash, just give me a second and I’ll come to you next. I promise can hear you if you say “excuse me!” Or “Miss!” Or even wave a little in my direction. There’s just no need to touch people or grab at them. Once I was so irritated at someone’s incessant poking, I turned, looked them in the eye and poke poke poked them right back and said, “what do you need.”

Check-in Agent here. When the plane is delayed or there’s a cancellation and passengers blame us! Honestly there’s nothing more we want than getting you on the plane to your holiday or back home but if there’s something physically wrong with the plane we will not risk everyone’s lives. Shouting, screaming and cursing at us won’t change the fact that the plane is still broken!!!!!

Pilot here. My worst experiences with customers is when the weather is bad and we have to either wait or make a no go decision. My personal favorite is the guy who screamed at me while I was in the terminal getting coffee because his flight wasn’t leaving on time. The whole north east was shut down for thunderstorms and low ceilings, but his iPhone said it was ok for us to go so he had to tell me how bad I am at my job.

Parents that don't watch their kids during the flight. The aircraft isn't childproof and there's a surprising amount of things they can injure themselves on.

If you are nice I am happy to walk the extra mile for you. Having a free seat next to you, a drink i don't have in my cart atm, extra snacks etc. But being an a** for things i can't change won't help anyone. Yes i do see you are flying with an infant and i would love to give you a whole seatrow but the flight is fully booked. You have a certain allergy and can't eat any of the foods offered and have not ordered a special meal before flight? We have only the foods on board which were loaded and i can't create or order any mid-flight.

Walking throughout the aircraft barefoot. Especially into the toilets... Those floors are not as clean as you think they are!

When passengers get up as soon as the aircraft stops ... y'all could be sitting effortlessly until we make the bridge and disarm the door but nah

(Military pilot) They always ignore instructions! Just do what I’ve politely asked of you, it’s almost certainly for your own safety!

Parents which let their kids do whatever they want. I almost had to cancel a takeoff once because a toddler was crawling in the isle just because mom said he won't sit still shortly before takeoff. Disregarding that on takeoff roll he could have gotten severly injured. And please bring everything you need for your kids. Diapers, food, milk. We have some items to help you out when you run out but not to supply everything for infants for the entire flight. And tray tables and seats are no changing tables. Gross. Please use the ones in the restrooms.

I'd say one of the most irritating and annoying thing is when people ignore or fight our instructions concerning safety regulations. I do not enjoy telling you that you can't have your bag in an exit row, that you need to put your important laptop away for takeoff and landing and that you should stay seated when the seatbeltsign is on. And no it is not negotiable. No reason to get insulting or treat us like shit.

leaving a ridiculous amount of garbage behind. Last week I had a grown ass couple spit huge globs of gum onto the floor and then step on it to try to rub it in. Like seriously? Why? And getting up to use the bathroom when we're already descending.

Stop expecting free alcohol because you handed me a three dollar bag of candy you bought in the airport. I’m a grown a** man. You didn’t make my day by giving me a Hershey’s kiss. Slip me a twenty instead. I’ll give you an open bar the rest of the flight.

You are a guest on board. A very valued guest. But please behave as such. You have passenger bins and your seat area. Don't open other cabinets or lockers. Don't help yourself to anything which isn't obviously on display for you. And if in doubt ask first. We had passengers eating the homemade lunch of a colleague in tupperware. Someone took a bite from a piece of cheese which my colleague already had a bite from and placed it back,etc

Poor hygiene/inappropriately dressed/exposed feet/etc. Aside from being disgusting, you should always “dress to egress” as we are taught in pilot training. Good luck making your way through a burning airplane, down a slide, and wading through leaking fuel and hydraulic fluid in your crocs, basketball shorts and Hawaiian t-shirt. Stick to close-toed shoes to protect your feet, and non-synthetic clothing that at least covers your legs completely. Synthetic material melts when heated; non-synthetic will just burn. Your skin hates both, but will prefer the latter.

Standing up when the seatbelt sign is on. On the ground, we’ll most likely be bringing the airplane to a stop, which inconveniences not just everyone else on board, but the 10 airplanes behind us. Plus ATC starts yelling at us. Not fun. In the air, if that sign is on, it’s for a reason. If we fly into turbulence and you get injured because your belt wasn’t fastened, we might have to divert, which makes everyone’s day exponentially more shitty.

Pilot here. Not an annoyance but I do love the look on peoples faces when I tell them “sorry I don’t know where the nearest X is, this is my first time at this airport”. We don’t pre plan and memorize the layouts of the terminals at every airport in the world.

Act like it’s a restaurant and you’re the only costumer in it. If you don’t get your choice of meal, just take whatever is available, meals are loaded by a specific percentage. If your seat is at the row where the food cart will finish, then there s a chance you won’t get your choice of meal

People who talk to us and treat us like scum. And yes, we'll provide better service to the ones who are nice, or think of them first when a whole row is free and they need to lie down and sleep during an 11hr flight.

Speaking of which, assuming the galley is a free for all. Sometimes we don't get provided crew food for work and bring our own. If we're busy attending to a call bell and can't finish out snack or whatever... Its not for you to just grab and eat... At least ask first!

Complaining about how rough the flight was. I've had some cuss out the flight deck about their abilities because the aircraft hit wake turbulence... If you can magically see wake turbulence on a tiny monitor and think you can do a better job then join a flight academy, pay several thousand dollars for the training and certification and do it yourself...

Feet in the isles during night flights. The cabin lights are dimmed and i do understand your need for stretching your legs but it is a trip hazard for us. There have been colleagues which broke bones for tripping over feet and legs in the dark.

Asking if I can upgrade them to first class. Even though I’m just the pilot, I’ve been approached by all kinds of passengers and heard almost every story/lie in the book. None of it will work and it’s just an uncomfortable situation to be put in.

As a former FA- Don’t try to join the mile high club. Just, stop. Don’t have sex in the bathrooms y’all. No, you aren’t being very quiet and yes we will know and depending on the airline policy we’ll also have to politely ask you to knock it off and keep it in your pants. Not to mention the obvious - airplane lavs are ridiculously tiny, to the point where once on one long haul we had to make an emergency landing because a large couple couldn’t get out of the lav they had shoved themselves into once they were done. I’ll add that this is THE grossest place to possibly want to do the deed, as lavs NEVER GET DEEP-CLEANED, EVER (between same-day legs) Ugh, and please don’t jerk your partner off while you’re both in your seats, with OUR COMPLEMENTARY BLANKET(!!!). I know what your hand motions mean and I will have to come over and shut it down, especially because in most cases there are families with kids sitting behind or near you.

Getting really drunk or high before a flight. You will almost certainly be caught and arrested. Dodge the federal charges and just wait until we land. Edit for clarification - If drunk passengers weren’t allowed to fly, I don’t think a single flight would leave the gate. I was mostly referring to the absolutely blitzed folks who could become a safety hazard.

Passengers who do aircraft yoga during the service. By all means if lights are off and it's quiet go ahead, but if there's a buzz of activity near the galley then maybe wait a while.

Stopping me in the terminal to ask for information about your flight. I do not possess universal knowledge of every single flight for every single airline. Direct your attention to the departure boards, or just Google your flight number.

Drunken behaviour. When you start getting aggressive for not getting anymore booze, we know it's the right call. It is neither fun for us or the people sitting in you vicinity. From harassment, cussing, aggressive behaviour, throwing up or loud terrible singing/howling on a long haul night flight. Same for medications taken with alcohol.

The bar carts are heavy and the airplane has basically always an incline angle. Please move out of the way and go use the restroom before we are blocking your way.

And yes i cringe seeing ppl run around barefoot especially near/in restrooms. I sometimes can't understand what happened in there but its gross. And well i bet in almost every aircraft are restrooms where someone couldn't make it to it in time and vomitted right in front of it.