35 Things People Learned Embarrassingly Late

solidsnake4545 Published 09/29/2021 in Funny

There's a lot of information we assume is universal. Things we assume everyone else knows. Like the fact that cheese doesn't grow on bushes. And, in most cases, we'd be right -- but in a surprising number of cases, we wouldn't be. Here are 35 cases of people learning things way, way too late in life.

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1. You know the towel hats the woman wear after taking a shower? It took me much longer than I'm willing to admit to realize that their hair is in the towel.
2. That birds don't live in nests. Just for rearing their young. I learned that at the age of 72. And I have a PhD in biophysics. Not zoology. Never too late to learn.
3. My dad would tell me bulls**t things to mess with me as a kid. Usually he would remember eventually to correct it. Sometimes, however, he forgot. I went through the first 17 years of my life thinking an artichoke was a nocturnal rodent. Went to Italian restaurant and was horrified to see artichoke hearts on the menu. My girlfriend still gives me s**t for it three years later.
4. That you only get milk from cows who have recently given birth. I was told by my father that cows produce milk be eating grass and I continued to believe it until I was in my early twenties
5. Until the age of 14, I thought Princess Diana was a famous marine biologist. They always called her "The Princess of WALES" so.....
6. I was watching Titanic with some friends. When it comes to the part where - spoiler alert - the ship starts sinking and the old couple are in bed together, my friend, let's call her Amy, goes "why don't they just go to sleep?". There's a pause as everyone looks baffled before Amy explains that you don't breathe while you're asleep so you can't drown. Amy was 21 and in university.
7. That green, red, and yellow bell peppers are all the same pepper at different stages of life.
8. I was convinced cheese grew on bushes till 12-13 years old. My brother is really proud of this.
9. I always thought that you had to legally be 16 to have coffee. Soon after my 16th birthday I went to the nearest coffee store and ordered one. I was sweating and hoping they wouldn't ask for id, because I didn't have any.
10. I just learned a few months ago that lightning does not happen when two clouds touch each other. That was a very sad, and very disappointing day.
11. I thought the Amish were like an old timey group of actors who were just really into it until I was about 18, revealed that, and was promptly made fun of because they in fact are a functioning society who actually live that way, not actors.
12. I used to think that when listening to a CD the singer had to physically sing it from wherever they were in the world in order for you to listen So when it was night time I wouldn't listen to my Avril Lavigne CD because I didn't want her to lose sleep for me
13. A week ago I finally made the connection that the hood is short for the neighborhood. I'm 23.
14. It's called "metal" because it's harder than rock.
15. I thought cats were a breed of dog until I was about 15.
16. Thought reindeer were mythical creatures, like unicorns, that helped Santa at Christmas. Didn't realise until I was 18. My mum took me to see real reindeer that Christmas, my mind was blown
17. What lesbians are. I thought they were from Romania. I was 17.
18. I re-named a goldfish "rainbow" when I was 7 because it kept changing color every few months. I told friends about this fish for years like it was some mystical kaleidoscope fish. It hit me in the face a couple months ago that the fish wasn't changing color...my parents were just replacing it when it died without telling me.
19. My ex wife did not know helicopters could hover until around age 23. She saw a copter over a scene in San Diego and asked me "how is that helicopter just floating in one spot??" I was like "wut?"
20. Just talked to a coworker the other day who didn't know his name was Jason until 3rd grade. His initials were JT and his family called him by that and so he thought that was his name. During roll call in class the teacher was asking for a "Jason" and he just sat there thinking "some sucker is late for class". Then the name JT was never called and confusion ensued.
21. That there are literally different seasons in different places in the world. I always thought about it as of a fact that I mislearned but it turned out to be true about a year ago. I'm 23.
22. Ray-Bans are called that because they "Ban" the suns rays from entering your eyes.
23. Chocolate milk doesn't come from chocolate cows. I thought there were chocolate cows until I was a college senior.
24. I thought I was allergic to cactus because they hurt me when I touched them, didn't find out that cactus have thorns until I was 12
25. For most of my life I assumed Neil Armstrong was a black man, because I'd never seen Neil outside the space suit, but I had seen Louis Armstrong. It never occurred to me that there would be anything unusual about a black astronaut in the 60s.
26. One time in 7th grade science, my class was having a discussion about volcanoes and then out of nowhere, a kid in the back yelled in the most surprised voice ever "wait! Volcanoes are real!?"
27. When I was a young kid I thought attractive people and celebrities didn't have toes. I thought their feet were perfect like the feet of a Barbie. I wanted to be famous so I could have feet like a Barbie, I thought toes were gross.
28. One of my mate realized when he was 17 that hard boiled eggs were not a different "variety" of eggs. He just assumed hens could make both kinds somehow...
29. I only learned this year that ponies aren't just baby horses.
30. I thought the term "prima donna" was "pre-Madonna." I always wondered what happened before her that would demand a new term. A friend also asked me why Ellen was named Ellen "The Generous." He said "I get that she is generous, but she isn't that noteworthy. It's not like she's Alexander the Great or something."
31. I thought it was "war war I" and "war war II" instead of "world war". everyone always just said it like "war war" because Texas.
32. That a blanket doesn't provide it's own heat. Yes, it genuinely took me a while.
33. I thought that all dogs were male and all cats were female for the longest time.
34. A few weeks ago I learned that hens lay infertile eggs so roosters aren't necessary. I'm 21.
35. Pickles come from cucumbers

1. You know the towel hats the woman wear after taking a shower? It took me much longer than I'm willing to admit to realize that their hair is in the towel.
2. That birds don't live in nests. Just for rearing their young. I learned that at the age of 72. And I have a PhD in biophysics. Not zoology. Never too late to learn.
3. My dad would tell me bulls**t things to mess with me as a kid. Usually he would remember eventually to correct it. Sometimes, however, he forgot. I went through the first 17 years of my life thinking an artichoke was a nocturnal rodent. Went to Italian restaurant and was horrified to see artichoke hearts on the menu. My girlfriend still gives me s**t for it three years later.
4. That you only get milk from cows who have recently given birth. I was told by my father that cows produce milk be eating grass and I continued to believe it until I was in my early twenties
5. Until the age of 14, I thought Princess Diana was a famous marine biologist. They always called her "The Princess of WALES" so.....
6. I was watching Titanic with some friends. When it comes to the part where - spoiler alert - the ship starts sinking and the old couple are in bed together, my friend, let's call her Amy, goes "why don't they just go to sleep?". There's a pause as everyone looks baffled before Amy explains that you don't breathe while you're asleep so you can't drown. Amy was 21 and in university.
7. That green, red, and yellow bell peppers are all the same pepper at different stages of life.
8. I was convinced cheese grew on bushes till 12-13 years old. My brother is really proud of this.
9. I always thought that you had to legally be 16 to have coffee. Soon after my 16th birthday I went to the nearest coffee store and ordered one. I was sweating and hoping they wouldn't ask for id, because I didn't have any.
10. I just learned a few months ago that lightning does not happen when two clouds touch each other. That was a very sad, and very disappointing day.
11. I thought the Amish were like an old timey group of actors who were just really into it until I was about 18, revealed that, and was promptly made fun of because they in fact are a functioning society who actually live that way, not actors.
12. I used to think that when listening to a CD the singer had to physically sing it from wherever they were in the world in order for you to listen So when it was night time I wouldn't listen to my Avril Lavigne CD because I didn't want her to lose sleep for me
13. A week ago I finally made the connection that the hood is short for the neighborhood. I'm 23.
14. It's called "metal" because it's harder than rock.
15. I thought cats were a breed of dog until I was about 15.
16. Thought reindeer were mythical creatures, like unicorns, that helped Santa at Christmas. Didn't realise until I was 18. My mum took me to see real reindeer that Christmas, my mind was blown
17. What lesbians are. I thought they were from Romania. I was 17.
18. I re-named a goldfish "rainbow" when I was 7 because it kept changing color every few months. I told friends about this fish for years like it was some mystical kaleidoscope fish. It hit me in the face a couple months ago that the fish wasn't changing color...my parents were just replacing it when it died without telling me.
19. My ex wife did not know helicopters could hover until around age 23. She saw a copter over a scene in San Diego and asked me "how is that helicopter just floating in one spot??" I was like "wut?"
20. Just talked to a coworker the other day who didn't know his name was Jason until 3rd grade. His initials were JT and his family called him by that and so he thought that was his name. During roll call in class the teacher was asking for a "Jason" and he just sat there thinking "some sucker is late for class". Then the name JT was never called and confusion ensued.
21. That there are literally different seasons in different places in the world. I always thought about it as of a fact that I mislearned but it turned out to be true about a year ago. I'm 23.
22. Ray-Bans are called that because they "Ban" the suns rays from entering your eyes.
23. Chocolate milk doesn't come from chocolate cows. I thought there were chocolate cows until I was a college senior.
24. I thought I was allergic to cactus because they hurt me when I touched them, didn't find out that cactus have thorns until I was 12
25. For most of my life I assumed Neil Armstrong was a black man, because I'd never seen Neil outside the space suit, but I had seen Louis Armstrong. It never occurred to me that there would be anything unusual about a black astronaut in the 60s.
26. One time in 7th grade science, my class was having a discussion about volcanoes and then out of nowhere, a kid in the back yelled in the most surprised voice ever "wait! Volcanoes are real!?"
27. When I was a young kid I thought attractive people and celebrities didn't have toes. I thought their feet were perfect like the feet of a Barbie. I wanted to be famous so I could have feet like a Barbie, I thought toes were gross.
28. One of my mate realized when he was 17 that hard boiled eggs were not a different "variety" of eggs. He just assumed hens could make both kinds somehow...
29. I only learned this year that ponies aren't just baby horses.
30. I thought the term "prima donna" was "pre-Madonna." I always wondered what happened before her that would demand a new term. A friend also asked me why Ellen was named Ellen "The Generous." He said "I get that she is generous, but she isn't that noteworthy. It's not like she's Alexander the Great or something."
31. I thought it was "war war I" and "war war II" instead of "world war". everyone always just said it like "war war" because Texas.
32. That a blanket doesn't provide it's own heat. Yes, it genuinely took me a while.
33. I thought that all dogs were male and all cats were female for the longest time.
34. A few weeks ago I learned that hens lay infertile eggs so roosters aren't necessary. I'm 21.
35. Pickles come from cucumbers

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NEXT GALLERY 25 Pics That Are Just Plain Awesome

1. You know the towel hats the woman wear after taking a shower? It took me much longer than I'm willing to admit to realize that their hair is in the towel.

2. That birds don't live in nests. Just for rearing their young. I learned that at the age of 72. And I have a PhD in biophysics. Not zoology. Never too late to learn.

4. That you only get milk from cows who have recently given birth. I was told by my father that cows produce milk be eating grass and I continued to believe it until I was in my early twenties

5. Until the age of 14, I thought Princess Diana was a famous marine biologist. They always called her "The Princess of WALES" so.....

7. That green, red, and yellow bell peppers are all the same pepper at different stages of life.

8. I was convinced cheese grew on bushes till 12-13 years old. My brother is really proud of this.

9. I always thought that you had to legally be 16 to have coffee. Soon after my 16th birthday I went to the nearest coffee store and ordered one. I was sweating and hoping they wouldn't ask for id, because I didn't have any.

10. I just learned a few months ago that lightning does not happen when two clouds touch each other. That was a very sad, and very disappointing day.

11. I thought the Amish were like an old timey group of actors who were just really into it until I was about 18, revealed that, and was promptly made fun of because they in fact are a functioning society who actually live that way, not actors.

12. I used to think that when listening to a CD the singer had to physically sing it from wherever they were in the world in order for you to listen So when it was night time I wouldn't listen to my Avril Lavigne CD because I didn't want her to lose sleep for me

13. A week ago I finally made the connection that the hood is short for the neighborhood. I'm 23.

14. It's called "metal" because it's harder than rock.

15. I thought cats were a breed of dog until I was about 15.

16. Thought reindeer were mythical creatures, like unicorns, that helped Santa at Christmas. Didn't realise until I was 18. My mum took me to see real reindeer that Christmas, my mind was blown

17. What lesbians are. I thought they were from Romania. I was 17.

19. My ex wife did not know helicopters could hover until around age 23. She saw a copter over a scene in San Diego and asked me "how is that helicopter just floating in one spot??" I was like "wut?"

21. That there are literally different seasons in different places in the world. I always thought about it as of a fact that I mislearned but it turned out to be true about a year ago. I'm 23.

22. Ray-Bans are called that because they "Ban" the suns rays from entering your eyes.

23. Chocolate milk doesn't come from chocolate cows. I thought there were chocolate cows until I was a college senior.

24. I thought I was allergic to cactus because they hurt me when I touched them, didn't find out that cactus have thorns until I was 12

25. For most of my life I assumed Neil Armstrong was a black man, because I'd never seen Neil outside the space suit, but I had seen Louis Armstrong. It never occurred to me that there would be anything unusual about a black astronaut in the 60s.

26. One time in 7th grade science, my class was having a discussion about volcanoes and then out of nowhere, a kid in the back yelled in the most surprised voice ever "wait! Volcanoes are real!?"

27. When I was a young kid I thought attractive people and celebrities didn't have toes. I thought their feet were perfect like the feet of a Barbie. I wanted to be famous so I could have feet like a Barbie, I thought toes were gross.

28. One of my mate realized when he was 17 that hard boiled eggs were not a different "variety" of eggs. He just assumed hens could make both kinds somehow...

29. I only learned this year that ponies aren't just baby horses.

31. I thought it was "war war I" and "war war II" instead of "world war". everyone always just said it like "war war" because Texas.

32. That a blanket doesn't provide it's own heat. Yes, it genuinely took me a while.

33. I thought that all dogs were male and all cats were female for the longest time.

34. A few weeks ago I learned that hens lay infertile eggs so roosters aren't necessary. I'm 21.

35. Pickles come from cucumbers

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