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“This customer who lost a diamond ring in a rental car. No we didn’t find it.”

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“I’ve always heard Chipotle skimps on delivery orders but didn’t think it was real.”

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“Tried reading a book and when I broke it’s spine this happened”

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“My fiancé scratched the hell out of our glass stove top. We have had it for 6 days.”

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“If you lost your cooler on I-95 in Florida, I found it, at 65mph.”

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“My freshly drawn hotel bath after a long day of work.”

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“My younger brother accidentally dropped a giant box of sorted pokemon cards down the stairs.”

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“Apparently I’m too short to donate sperm.”

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“Carbon monoxide poisoning is no joke. Got to spend 3 hours on a hyperbaric chamber last night.”

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“Hit a live wire within a half an hour of buying a brand new knife.”

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“Husband went into the attic to fix a leak. Lost his footing and fell through. He’s ok. The whole floor level of our home is not.”

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“Bought a fake snake to deter birds. Instead they used it as a nest.”

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"I rented an AirBnB to have a relaxing weekend. I'm now flooded-in and a prisoner here. (That used to be the street)"

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"My college is $38m in debt lol"

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"Some kid thought it would be funny to drop a whole open bottle of soda on me while I was taking a dump"

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" I accidentally ate a rotten boiled egg"

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"My cat chewed off the first leaf my monstera plant created with fenestrations on both sides."

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"Tried to wash and dry our pillows"

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"Ordered an apple watch off Walmart for same day delivery. This is what they delivered"

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"When you pull the charger box out of the outlet and it leaves one of the prongs"

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"The irony that I got a flat tire from a ball pump needle today was not lost on me"

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"What these two micro green kits look like after a week."

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