American bros are pretty lame. They wear Oxford shirts, boat shoes, Vineyard Vines, or whatever else their rich mom buys them for Christmas. They have zero fashion sense, and they’re not even that funny to look at. Eastern European bros have them beat in every way.

This northern Arctic-themed breed of the bro is way funnier and intimidating to witness. They hail from Eastern bloc countries, and that cold landscape is reflected in their cold, steely, bro eyes. The vast majority of them have buzz cuts or some sort of weird fade, they love hard liquor but most of all, they love Adidas. So. Much. Adidas.

These countries lacked a lot of food and resources in the past, but they will never lack stripes.