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Him: Must pet dog

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Thought I was special :/

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Fancy because I know John Cena

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What have I done :0

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Sorry, system processing...

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Time to battle boys

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Ask me anything, peasants

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Waiting at Area 51 like

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Meth Karen needs attention

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Dude, if you would just LISTEN to me

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Brooo I needed that man :'(

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Better call 911 while we still can

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I'm out, thanks

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Look mom I'm leaving

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Like I didn't buy a jacket from Walmart yet

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Looks like we're doomed sweetie

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Stay away you satanic she

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I can't even think somebody help

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I am like the arctic in the middle

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Can't be left alone for 30 minutes :"(

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Why do you deceive me Lord

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Get some hot chocolate you dweeb

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