Some tattoos age like fine wine. These aged like milk left in a hot car. From the very first needle buzz, these were bad ideas with confidence. No “wait and see.” No “maybe it’ll grow on me.” Just instant regret, permanently installed.

Take the ponytail tattoo on the back of the head, a bold attempt to trick people that worked on absolutely no one. Or the ugly baby tattoo, frozen forever in ink, God help us when that baby grows up and sees what’s been done. And then there’s the McDonald’s logo, because nothing says lifelong commitment like a fast-food brand that changes its menu every six months.

These tattoos showed up already failing. Loudly. Proudly. Permanently. What you’re about to see is a collection of choices that skipped the thinking part and went straight to the needle. Get ready. This is going to hurt emotionally.