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Boobs Throughout History

A Picture Gallery Celebrating Monumental Moments In The History Of These Glorious Fleshy Spheres

By aesir911

Published 15 years ago

A Picture Gallery Celebrating Monumental Moments In The History Of These Glorious Fleshy Spheres

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1
1963 - Bra burning becomes a symbol of the women's liberation movement. Unleashed hooters somehow make the women's liberation movement less annoying.

2
2005 - Maxi Mounds holds the Guinness World Record for the largest breasts. She is soon to be beaten by many women trying to gain the attention of men.

3
2004 - Janet Jackson suffers a wardrobe malfunction at Super Bowl XXXVIII. America has yet to fully recover from the fallout.

4
1999 - Pamela Anderson has her 36DD breast implants removed, returning her to a 36C. The male population of the planet collectively utters WTF!!!

5
1998 - A Florida man sues a strip club claiming exotic dancer Tawny Peaks' 60-inch HHH bosom caused him to suffer whiplash. Defense lawyers are paid with a large stack of one dollar bills reeking of cheap perfume.

6
1997 - In the popular Austin Powers movie, Fembots use breasts as weapons. In actuality, women have been doing this since before time.

7
1996 - The video game Tomb Raider debuts, featuring top-heavy adventurer Lara Croft. Gives a whole new meaning to the term handling one's joystick.

8
1995 - Seinfeld episode airs featuring the Bro, a bra for men. Inexplicably, John Madden, Pavarotti and Marlon Brando are unavailable for comment.

9
1994 - The Wonderbra takes the fashion world by storm. Women's rights activists present passionate arguments asserting the bra encourages men to objectify women. Men are so distracted, they don't even care.

10
1992 - Pamela Anderson debuts on Baywatch. Boobs reach an unprecedented level of popularity.

11
1990 - Madonna dons a conical bra for her Blond Ambition tour, accomplishing the impossible. She manages to make boobs undesireable and creepy.

12
1983 - The Hooters restaurant chain is launched, making lecherous ogling a family-friendly activity.

13
1982 - Phoebe Cates removes her bathing suit top in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. The demand for Kleenex stock surges.

14
1977 - The TV show Three's Company debuts. Suzanne Somers' nipples become first celebrity body parts in history to demand their own publicist.

15
1976 - Farrah Fawcett-Majors poses for a poster in her swimsuit, inspiring bad hairstyles, anorexia and palm callouses around the globe.

16
1973 - The internet is created providing a place to share boobs across the world instantly.

17
Before Time - Evolution sure was on the right track.

18
1962 - The first breast augmentation surgery is performed. Deemed to be the first undeniable proof life is still worth living even if you have small breasts.

19
1953 - The first issue of Playboy hits news stands, offering the world a wide variety of boobs.

20
1946 - Dolly Parton is born in Locust Ridge, Tennessee. Big boob jokes go mainstream.

21
1943 - Howard Hughes designs cantilevered bra for Jane Russell to wear in The Outlaw. Giant boobs have been involved in making movies ever since.

22
1941 - Duct tape is created to keep moisture out of military ammunition cases during World War II. In time, it is used to create the illusion of more cleavage, mostly by beauty pageant contestants.

23
1929 - The Grand Tetons are named by French trappers. Grand Tetons means big boobs. It's the last time in history the French showed good judgment.

24
1922 - The Maidenform company is founded, starting the convention of naming cup sizes A through D.

25
1917 - The T-shirt finds widespread acceptance, yet wet T-shirt contests don't catch on until the latter part of the century.

26
1914 - Push up bras first introduced proving breasts can look even better. Lift those babies higher!

27
1885 - The Statue of Liberty arrives in New York Harbor possessing the largest boobs seen in America up to that point.

28
1839 - The first Mardi Gras parade takes place in New Orleans, consisting of one float, some cheap beads, and innumerable bare bosoms.

29
1680 - Pirates inadvertently discover nipple piercings. Bless those drunken thieves!

30
16th Century - Wet nurses became popular introducing women being paid for the use of their glorious breasts.

31
30 B.C. - Sexy Egyptian ruler Cleopatra is bitten in the boob by an asp, and a long line forms to suck out the venom.

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