Every December, cameras come out, ovens panic, and Christmas food commits crimes against humanity. Somewhere between the eggnog and the third carol, good intentions go rogue. 

The gingerbread house looks less like a cottage and more like a condemned building with frosting graffiti. Cookies arrive baked and confusing: green, red, and shaped like something that once knew Santa. Cakes attempt the big finish: Santa’s face, smiling sweetly, melting slowly, eyes sliding south like they’re clocking out early.

These photos try to give the “yum.” But they shout “yikes.” They smell like effort. They taste like love. They photograph like evidence. Click in if you dare to see these crazy inventions and pray you have any appetite left for Christmas day.