Rule number one for posting on the internet: no matter what you post, someone is going to hate it.
Too often the best posts get lost in the noise of the internet, so we've taken it upon ourselves to find you what you crave, just the dumb tweets. The seal terrorizing Connecticut, Elon having a million kids, Rudy Giuliani bumping in the club, bathroom hate, there’s a lot going on today.
Here are all the dumbest tweets from the weekend. Until tomorrow.
1
Elon Musk's Prosthetic Penis
News of another Elon Musk child broke over the weekend and was met with a flurry of roasts from users on X, the app Elon owns.
7
DJ Rudy Giuliani in the Club
Former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani achieved his dream of being a DJ for an America First Valentine’s Day party. He played ‘YMCA’, the anthem for both the Far Right, and the gay community.
9
Anger and Jealousy Over a Nice Bathroom
A twitter user posted a pic of their nice bathroom, but when there’s a housing crisis going on alongside people who don’t know how to decorate, the internet will respond with fury.
10
Some Texts Should Be Kept Private
Someone posted “romantic” texts from their partner, but weird fetish stuff posted online will always get dunked on and unintentionally become a meme.
13
So Many Grandparents
A breakdown of how many grandparents we all have is going viral. If you can’t get laid, don’t feel bad - there were only a couple billion people before you who managed to figure it out.
16
Ashley St. Clair Can't Play Chess
Ashley St. Clair, mother of Elon’s newest baby, was photographed next to a chess board that was set up entirely wrong. Elon has gone on record saying he can’t play chess because it’s “too simple”, so these two are a perfect match.
18
Paul Simon and Sabrina Carpenter
Paul Simon has been playing on SNL for decades, and he’s always the shortest performer up there. This time they paired him with the smallest celeb they could find, but Sabrina Carpenter still towers over him.
21
The True, Pathetic Size of Angler Fish
Angler fish are some of the scariest beings in the sea, but their true, pathetic length has been revealed. Don’t worry boys - it turns out even fish lie about their size.
23
The Loose Seal of Connecticut
A seal showed up on the streets of New Haven, Connecticut on Sunday afternoon. Police still don’t know how he got there, but the pics are awesome, and the New Haven Aquarium now has a new famous resident.
