Hilarious Pick-up Lines That Are So Bad They’re Good

Marty Mcfly Published 07/27/2015

Here are 30 pickup lines that might actually work very well if you have the balls to try them. Some of these are a bit brave to be honest. But at least one guy definitely got it right with his original Tinder line that will have you rolling on the ground. Pickup lines take skill and thought. Not everyone is suave enough, and not everyone can look a woman / man in the eyes and tell her a stupid line with the idea in your head that its supposed to turn a definite no into a yes. Whatever the logic behind it is, at least you know that you can't be as bad as these social nitwits who clearly need a lesson in relating to people.

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1.
“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and landed on my boner?”
2.
“Want to come round and watch some porn in my mirror?”
3.
“I put the S.T.D. in STUD and all I need is U.”
4.
“Hey baby, those shoes look like they hurt. I’m sure you would feel better on your knees.”
5.
“If you were a president you’d be Babe-raham Lincoln.” SCHWING!
6.
“If we were Transformers, you would be a Hottiebot and your name would be Optimus Fine.”
7.
“You remind me of my pinky toe. Small, cute, and I’m probably gonna bang you on my coffee table later.”
8.
“Hey girl, were your parents retarded? Because you’re so damn special!” – Robin Williams
9.
“Hi there, are you drunk enough to lower your standards yet or should I come back later?”
10.
“Screw me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Elise?”
11.
“I just soiled my pants. Can I get in yours?”
12.
“You a beaver, girl? Cause DAM!”
13.
“I’m a love pirate and I’m here for your booty!! ARGGHHH!”
14.
“If said you had a beautiful body, would you take your pants off and dance around a little?” – Zap Brannigan
15.
“I’d like to be your derivative. So I can lie tangent to those curves.”
16.
“If I asked you to sleep with me would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?”
17.
“You look like you got hit by a bag of beautiful.”
18.
“My magical watch says you’re not wearing any underwear. Oh, you are? Must be an hour fast.”
19.
“If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.”
20.
“Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice.”
21.
“I bet you dinner that you won’t go out to dinner with me.”
22.
“Did you just fart? Cause you just blew me away.”
23.
“Were you a square in a past life ’cause you have all the right angles.”
24.
“Hey, you want to go halfsies with me on a baby?”
25.
“That shirt is very becoming on you, if I was on you I’d be cumming too.”
26.
“Do you have any raisins? How about a date?”
27.
“I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.”
28.
“Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?”
29.
“I’m horrible at pickup lines. If I buy you a drink, will you help me work one out?”
30.
“Do you want to play carpenter? First we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.”

1.
“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and landed on my boner?”
2.
“Want to come round and watch some porn in my mirror?”
3.
“I put the S.T.D. in STUD and all I need is U.”
4.
“Hey baby, those shoes look like they hurt. I’m sure you would feel better on your knees.”
5.
“If you were a president you’d be Babe-raham Lincoln.” SCHWING!
6.
“If we were Transformers, you would be a Hottiebot and your name would be Optimus Fine.”
7.
“You remind me of my pinky toe. Small, cute, and I’m probably gonna bang you on my coffee table later.”
8.
“Hey girl, were your parents retarded? Because you’re so damn special!” – Robin Williams
9.
“Hi there, are you drunk enough to lower your standards yet or should I come back later?”
10.
“Screw me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Elise?”
11.
“I just soiled my pants. Can I get in yours?”
12.
“You a beaver, girl? Cause DAM!”
13.
“I’m a love pirate and I’m here for your booty!! ARGGHHH!”
14.
“If said you had a beautiful body, would you take your pants off and dance around a little?” – Zap Brannigan
15.
“I’d like to be your derivative. So I can lie tangent to those curves.”
16.
“If I asked you to sleep with me would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?”
17.
“You look like you got hit by a bag of beautiful.”
18.
“My magical watch says you’re not wearing any underwear. Oh, you are? Must be an hour fast.”
19.
“If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.”
20.
“Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice.”
21.
“I bet you dinner that you won’t go out to dinner with me.”
22.
“Did you just fart? Cause you just blew me away.”
23.
“Were you a square in a past life ’cause you have all the right angles.”
24.
“Hey, you want to go halfsies with me on a baby?”
25.
“That shirt is very becoming on you, if I was on you I’d be cumming too.”
26.
“Do you have any raisins? How about a date?”
27.
“I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.”
28.
“Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?”
29.
“I’m horrible at pickup lines. If I buy you a drink, will you help me work one out?”
30.
“Do you want to play carpenter? First we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.”

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and landed on my boner?”

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1. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and landed on my boner?”

2. “Want to come round and watch some porn in my mirror?”

3. “I put the S.T.D. in STUD and all I need is U.”

4. “Hey baby, those shoes look like they hurt. I’m sure you would feel better on your knees.”

5. “If you were a president you’d be Babe-raham Lincoln.” SCHWING!

6. “If we were Transformers, you would be a Hottiebot and your name would be Optimus Fine.”

7. “You remind me of my pinky toe. Small, cute, and I’m probably gonna bang you on my coffee table later.”

8. “Hey girl, were your parents retarded? Because you’re so damn special!” – Robin Williams

9. “Hi there, are you drunk enough to lower your standards yet or should I come back later?”

10. “Screw me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Elise?”

11. “I just soiled my pants. Can I get in yours?”

12. “You a beaver, girl? Cause DAM!”

13. “I’m a love pirate and I’m here for your booty!! ARGGHHH!”

14. “If said you had a beautiful body, would you take your pants off and dance around a little?” – Zap Brannigan

15. “I’d like to be your derivative. So I can lie tangent to those curves.”

16. “If I asked you to sleep with me would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?”

17. “You look like you got hit by a bag of beautiful.”

18. “My magical watch says you’re not wearing any underwear. Oh, you are? Must be an hour fast.”

19. “If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.”

20. “Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice.”

21. “I bet you dinner that you won’t go out to dinner with me.”

22. “Did you just fart? Cause you just blew me away.”

23. “Were you a square in a past life ’cause you have all the right angles.”

24. “Hey, you want to go halfsies with me on a baby?”

25. “That shirt is very becoming on you, if I was on you I’d be cumming too.”

26. “Do you have any raisins? How about a date?”

27. “I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.”

28. “Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?”

29. “I’m horrible at pickup lines. If I buy you a drink, will you help me work one out?”

30. “Do you want to play carpenter? First we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.”

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eBaum's Picks

1.
“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and landed on my boner?”

2.
“Want to come round and watch some porn in my mirror?”

3.
“I put the S.T.D. in STUD and all I need is U.”

4.
“Hey baby, those shoes look like they hurt. I’m sure you would feel better on your knees.”

5.
“If you were a president you’d be Babe-raham Lincoln.” SCHWING!

6.
“If we were Transformers, you would be a Hottiebot and your name would be Optimus Fine.”

7.
“You remind me of my pinky toe. Small, cute, and I’m probably gonna bang you on my coffee table later.”

8.
“Hey girl, were your parents retarded? Because you’re so damn special!” – Robin Williams

9.
“Hi there, are you drunk enough to lower your standards yet or should I come back later?”

10.
“Screw me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Elise?”

11.
“I just soiled my pants. Can I get in yours?”

12.
“You a beaver, girl? Cause DAM!”

13.
“I’m a love pirate and I’m here for your booty!! ARGGHHH!”

14.
“If said you had a beautiful body, would you take your pants off and dance around a little?” – Zap Brannigan

15.
“I’d like to be your derivative. So I can lie tangent to those curves.”

16.
“If I asked you to sleep with me would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?”

17.
“You look like you got hit by a bag of beautiful.”

18.
“My magical watch says you’re not wearing any underwear. Oh, you are? Must be an hour fast.”

19.
“If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.”

20.
“Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice.”

21.
“I bet you dinner that you won’t go out to dinner with me.”

22.
“Did you just fart? Cause you just blew me away.”

23.
“Were you a square in a past life ’cause you have all the right angles.”

24.
“Hey, you want to go halfsies with me on a baby?”

25.
“That shirt is very becoming on you, if I was on you I’d be cumming too.”

26.
“Do you have any raisins? How about a date?”

27.
“I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.”

28.
“Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?”

29.
“I’m horrible at pickup lines. If I buy you a drink, will you help me work one out?”

30.
“Do you want to play carpenter? First we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.”