25 Lies Adults Like to Tell Kids

PocketEpiphany Published 03/11/2022 in Funny

We learn a lot about the world from our teachers. And for most people, that really gets started in elementary school.

But what if your teachers were actually lying to your face? Here are the worst lies that our elementary teachers ever told us.

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1. If you touch a baby duck its mother will reject it-u/murphy_girl
2. If someone is picking on you that means they like you.. no. Some people are sh*tty bullies and are picking on you’re because you're an easy target-u/archibauldis99
3. I learned in Kindergarten that emperor penguins were the same height as us, (true at the time), but as I grew, I still thought that they were still the same height as I am. Then, as a teenager, I was surprised when I saw penguins at the zoo that they were only 3-4 feet or so, and not my actual height.-u/hoodie_monsta
4. Drugs would be easy to come by, you’ll make friends easily, that people will be helpful when you’re in need and you ask.-u/Ghostoftommorrow
5. "That doesn't/won't slide in high school"-u/BIGBOT6142
6. That cracking your fingers gives you arthritis-u/Taylorcurley
7. That I can’t use my notes in life. TF does that even mean? I’m always looking at my notes when I do my job.-u/Kanden_27
8. That being an astronaut is way harder than they sell it as a palpable career.-u/FreshKittyPowPow
9. We had a teacher tell us that we only had so many uses before our vocal cords stopped working so wasting it small talking during class would cause us to go mute in our 30s-u/H20fearsme
10. That my face was gonna get stuck like this
11. That Napoleon was short. Turns out he was average height for his time, and it was just British propaganda representing how small of a threat they perceived him to be.-u/OneTyler2Many
12. That I should never stand up to a bully. I should stop reacting so they would get bored and leave me alone. That if I ever fought back I would be suspended so it wouldn't be worth it. (Don't worry! Every time I went to the teachers for help I was told I needed to share my lunch so it wouldn't get stolen, I needed to be more forgiving and understanding because the girl who attacked me was on the cheer team, etc. so this didn't give me some lasting problems with conflict! Nope nope nope!)-u/LuckyCandle
13. That if I went to college I would get a good job and be able to buy a big house with a pool.-u/Takingover4da99and00
14. “You won’t always have a calculator in your pocket.” Not even that long ago. Smartphones were already a thing.-u/silence_infidel
15. "This will go down on your permanent record."-u/Marionberry-Superb
16. That all my high school teachers and my professors once I got to college would require cursive-u/machina99
17. That blood is blue before it touches air-u/W0rm_G1rl
18. We were once forced to do this profession test to find out our dream job and one of the options was to become a "Pokemon trainer". To this day nobody ever offered me a starter Pokemon.-u/PizzaQuattroCheese
19. Apparently bears just nap a lot in the winter and don’t take a 3-month mega nap-u/IMNOTBOBFOSSE
20. Tastebud zones.-u/GrilledStuffedDragon
21. Nobody has offered me drugs yet. D.A.R.E made it seem like I'd have to be running away from people in vans offering me drugs every time I went on a walk.-u/Minmach-123
22. Cheaters never win in the end. Only good people succeed.All lies.-u/slicknshine
23. There's no such thing as a stupid question-u/_Balrog_of_Morgoth_
24. Christopher Columbus proved the Earth was round by discovering America.-u/LunarIncense
25. George Washington chopped down a cherry tree, lied about it, and learned his morals there after-u/bloom2701

1. If you touch a baby duck its mother will reject it-u/murphy_girl
2. If someone is picking on you that means they like you.. no. Some people are sh*tty bullies and are picking on you’re because you're an easy target-u/archibauldis99
3. I learned in Kindergarten that emperor penguins were the same height as us, (true at the time), but as I grew, I still thought that they were still the same height as I am. Then, as a teenager, I was surprised when I saw penguins at the zoo that they were only 3-4 feet or so, and not my actual height.-u/hoodie_monsta
4. Drugs would be easy to come by, you’ll make friends easily, that people will be helpful when you’re in need and you ask.-u/Ghostoftommorrow
5. "That doesn't/won't slide in high school"-u/BIGBOT6142
6. That cracking your fingers gives you arthritis-u/Taylorcurley
7. That I can’t use my notes in life. TF does that even mean? I’m always looking at my notes when I do my job.-u/Kanden_27
8. That being an astronaut is way harder than they sell it as a palpable career.-u/FreshKittyPowPow
9. We had a teacher tell us that we only had so many uses before our vocal cords stopped working so wasting it small talking during class would cause us to go mute in our 30s-u/H20fearsme
10. That my face was gonna get stuck like this
11. That Napoleon was short. Turns out he was average height for his time, and it was just British propaganda representing how small of a threat they perceived him to be.-u/OneTyler2Many
12. That I should never stand up to a bully. I should stop reacting so they would get bored and leave me alone. That if I ever fought back I would be suspended so it wouldn't be worth it. (Don't worry! Every time I went to the teachers for help I was told I needed to share my lunch so it wouldn't get stolen, I needed to be more forgiving and understanding because the girl who attacked me was on the cheer team, etc. so this didn't give me some lasting problems with conflict! Nope nope nope!)-u/LuckyCandle
13. That if I went to college I would get a good job and be able to buy a big house with a pool.-u/Takingover4da99and00
14. “You won’t always have a calculator in your pocket.” Not even that long ago. Smartphones were already a thing.-u/silence_infidel
15. "This will go down on your permanent record."-u/Marionberry-Superb
16. That all my high school teachers and my professors once I got to college would require cursive-u/machina99
17. That blood is blue before it touches air-u/W0rm_G1rl
18. We were once forced to do this profession test to find out our dream job and one of the options was to become a "Pokemon trainer". To this day nobody ever offered me a starter Pokemon.-u/PizzaQuattroCheese
19. Apparently bears just nap a lot in the winter and don’t take a 3-month mega nap-u/IMNOTBOBFOSSE
20. Tastebud zones.-u/GrilledStuffedDragon
21. Nobody has offered me drugs yet. D.A.R.E made it seem like I'd have to be running away from people in vans offering me drugs every time I went on a walk.-u/Minmach-123
22. Cheaters never win in the end. Only good people succeed.All lies.-u/slicknshine
23. There's no such thing as a stupid question-u/_Balrog_of_Morgoth_
24. Christopher Columbus proved the Earth was round by discovering America.-u/LunarIncense
25. George Washington chopped down a cherry tree, lied about it, and learned his morals there after-u/bloom2701