People Share Their Moms' Catchphrases

Kenneth Coo Published 08/20/2018

Every Mom has this saying she'll give you to death.

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1.
“Annnnnd We’re off like a herd of turtles!” Every time we left the driveway. Every single time.
2.
“I’m not sleeping I’m just resting my eyes.”
3.
“You JUST ate.”
4.
Know what I mean, jellybean?
5.
“You’ll never guess what your father did this time.”
6.
When looking for something mom told us to find, and we either legitimately couldn’t find it, or we were being lazy: “If I find it, I’m going to beat you with it.”
7.
“Listen to me now and believe me later.”
8.
“If you had any brains, you’d be dangerous.”
9.
“You’re just like your father!”
10.
Me: “Something hurts” Her: “That comes ten days before you die.”
11.
“I can’t make you do what I want, but I can make you sorry if you don’t.”
12.
“We’ll see.” It’s code for “no, but I don’t want to listen to you whine about it right now.”
13.
“You gotta plan your work and work your plan!” – she watches too much Dr. Phil I think.
14.
“Stop that crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”
15.
She has so many, and I dunno why this is the one that comes up first in my mind, but she always says “if you can’t open it, you don’t deserve it.” This phrase (which sounds a bit more whimsical in the original Serbian) goes for everything from bags of chips to those plastic packages school supplies come in. She shows no mercy when something’s really hard to unwrap or pry apart. I have subsequently gotten very good at opening hard-to-open things, and am now the go-to pickle jar opener.
16.
“You have diabetes” don’t know why but every single medical problem (even a cough) and this is the first thing that comes out of her mouth.
17.
English is my mom’s second language so there are certain things that she gets mixed up. My favorite thing she does that I find incredibly endearing is her saying, “The welcome” instead of “You’re welcome.” I have even started using it with my friends and they use it too.
18.
“I made you, I can just as easily destroy you.”
19.
“Might as well slit my own throat”, usually said after a mild inconvenience like being told she couldn’t have a cup of tea prior to a medical scan.
20.
English is my mom’s second language, so instead of saying “It’s my way or the highway” my mom says “My way is the highway.”

1.
“Annnnnd We’re off like a herd of turtles!” Every time we left the driveway. Every single time.
2.
“I’m not sleeping I’m just resting my eyes.”
3.
“You JUST ate.”
4.
Know what I mean, jellybean?
5.
“You’ll never guess what your father did this time.”
6.
When looking for something mom told us to find, and we either legitimately couldn’t find it, or we were being lazy: “If I find it, I’m going to beat you with it.”
7.
“Listen to me now and believe me later.”
8.
“If you had any brains, you’d be dangerous.”
9.
“You’re just like your father!”
10.
Me: “Something hurts” Her: “That comes ten days before you die.”
11.
“I can’t make you do what I want, but I can make you sorry if you don’t.”
12.
“We’ll see.” It’s code for “no, but I don’t want to listen to you whine about it right now.”
13.
“You gotta plan your work and work your plan!” – she watches too much Dr. Phil I think.
14.
“Stop that crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”
15.
She has so many, and I dunno why this is the one that comes up first in my mind, but she always says “if you can’t open it, you don’t deserve it.” This phrase (which sounds a bit more whimsical in the original Serbian) goes for everything from bags of chips to those plastic packages school supplies come in. She shows no mercy when something’s really hard to unwrap or pry apart. I have subsequently gotten very good at opening hard-to-open things, and am now the go-to pickle jar opener.
16.
“You have diabetes” don’t know why but every single medical problem (even a cough) and this is the first thing that comes out of her mouth.
17.
English is my mom’s second language so there are certain things that she gets mixed up. My favorite thing she does that I find incredibly endearing is her saying, “The welcome” instead of “You’re welcome.” I have even started using it with my friends and they use it too.
18.
“I made you, I can just as easily destroy you.”
19.
“Might as well slit my own throat”, usually said after a mild inconvenience like being told she couldn’t have a cup of tea prior to a medical scan.
20.
English is my mom’s second language, so instead of saying “It’s my way or the highway” my mom says “My way is the highway.”