Some people want the world… and they want it delivered, gift-wrapped, and hand-carried by a unicorn for free. Welcome to the wild world of picky beggars: folks who confuse generosity with a full-time concierge service.
These aren’t your average “can I borrow a dollar?” types. Oh no, these are the bold, the baffling, the “I’ll take it, but can you make it new, signed, and in a different color?” crowd. Their demands? High. Their gratitude? Missing. Their sense of reality? Left the chat. These screenshots are a masterclass in unearned entitlement, delivered with a straight face and zero self-awareness.
So grab a snack and prepare to cringe. Because these picky beggars are out here asking for filet mignon… with a hot dog budget.
1
Desperately Seeking Decor Gals
A bride posted: “Looking for friends to help me sort decorations. Just 8-10 hours of light work!” Oh and no pay. No food. Just the warm glow of unpaid friendship labor.
2
Support Me… Financially Only.
She posted this long, emotional rant about needing “support". Naturally, I thought she meant hugs, kindness, maybe a phone call. Nope. She dropped her Venmo.
3
Such a Giving Soul…
He listed three broken appliances, all dusty and possibly haunted. Then added: “You’re welcome.”
4
Now Hiring: Babysitter / Martyr
They wanted someone to babysit three kids for $10/hour. No food, no breaks, just chaos.
5
$500 to Demo My Kitchen?
A woman listed her old kitchen cabinets… with a $500 price tag. But here’s the twist: you had to come rip them out yourself.
6
Furnish My $3,000 Rent for Free
This guy just moved into a luxury apartment. Then he posts: “Looking for a FREE couch, FREE bed, FREE table…”
7
You Pay to Work in My Yard
Someone posted a job, but not a real one. They wanted people to bring their own tools, pick up their yard rocks, and pay for the experience.
8
Please Pay Me to Make You Do Labor
I saw a listing for an old chimney. Cool, right? Until I read the fine print: “Buyer must disassemble and haul away.” It was $100.
9
Floorboards: You Remove. I Profit.
Someone was “selling” reclaimed floorboards. But there was a catch: you had to pull them out of the house.
10
Take My Trash... AND Disassemble It.
This guy offered a filthy, rusted cage for free, but with a catch. “You’ll need to disassemble it yourself,” he said, like it was an exciting DIY project, not a tetanus risk.
11
Half the Pay, Double the Mileage!
He sat me down and said, completely seriously, “I need you to drive twice as far now... but I’ll be cutting your pay in half.”
12
Just Trying to Sell My Sanity
I listed a $300 couch on Marketplace. First message: “Is this free?” Second message? Second: “Can you deliver?”
13
Rules for Peasants Renting My Palace
She listed her house for $300 a night and said: “No pets. No kids. No shoes. No loud talking. No... existing?”
14
Drop Off My Groceries Like It’s Normal
She posted in the neighborhood group asking for someone to “swing by the store” for her. Then she said, “Just leave it on the porch and don’t knock. I don’t like talking.”
15
I Want This Exact Phone… For Free
He posted in 5 different groups asking for a very specific iPhone model. And then said: “Can’t pay right now.”
16
Ma’am, This Is Your 4th Time Asking
She pops up every week, asking for a fridge, a sofa, a car, a kayak… And always adds, “Please deliver.”
17
Sisterhood of the Free Labor
Your friend starts a “small business” and suddenly, you’re her unpaid employee. “Can you help me set up? Pack orders? Post content?”
18
Unpaid Internship: Emotional Damage Edition
The job ad said “great opportunity for growth!” What it meant: 50 hours of work, zero pay, and a lifetime of wondering why you applied.
19
Free Kitten, But Don’t You Dare Make It Orange.
Someone posted a “FREE KITTEN” ad; but added, in all caps: “NO ORANGE CATS. I HATE ORANGE CATS.”
20
Welcome to the $950 Farm Prison
They were renting out a tiny room on a farm for $950/month. No bathroom, no privacy, but you do get unlimited unpaid labor opportunities!
