Santa’s going straight on the Naughty List this year and not for sneaking an extra cookie. We’re talking full-blown tabloid Santa. Red suit wrinkled. Beard askew. Breath smelling like eggnog and bad decisions. This is the Santa who shows up late, hugs too long, and laughs at jokes that definitely didn’t age well. Somewhere, a reindeer is calling an Uber.
You’ll see the drunk Santa wobbling while he tries to get to your house… better hope he doesn’t. Santa getting arrested, cuffs over the cuffs. Too many parties. Too many traditions. Too many years of doing the same job without a decent dental plan.
So this year, forget sugarplums. The real Christmas miracle is Santa making it home without a mugshot. Naughty List? He wrote his own name on it in permanent marker. Because even legends crack, even heroes unravel, and even Santa sometimes needs to sit down, hydrate, and seriously rethink the eggnog.
1
Santa Making Sand Angels
Florida Christmas hits different.
2
Santa Drinking Straight from the Bottle
Milk and cookies were not enough.
3
Santa Drinking Beer in Front of the Christmas Tree
Finally enjoying his own work.
4
Santas Urinating Against a Wall
When the sleigh ride was too long.
5
Santa Hanging from a Rope
Extreme gift delivery.
6
Santa Being Searched with a Metal Detector
Turns out bells set it off.
7
Santa Arrested
Naughty list enforcement has begun.
8
Santa Being Arrested on the Street
Caught coming down the wrong chimney.
9
Santa Collecting Trash
Cleaning up after Christmas since forever.
10
Santa Passed Out in the Bathroom
The porcelain throne claims another king.
11
Santa Attacked with a Black Cat
Naughty list just got claws.
12
Santa Drinking at a Party
Networking for next December.
13
Santa Wearing a Dress
North Pole after dark.
14
Santa Smoking on the Beach
Winter body. Summer attitude.
15
Santa Hitchhiking
Even the sleigh needs a break.
16
Santa Pulled Over by a Police Officer
License, registration, and eight tiny reindeer.
17
Santa Being Arrested by Police
Sleigh stopped. Rights read.
18
Santa Drinking and Playing on a Machine
This is why your present didn't arrive.
19
Santa Mugshot
Turns out “HoHoHo” was a warning.
20
Santa Sleeping on the Couch
Delivered the gifts. Defeated by the couch.