A man named Chris Pelonope of the
SevenFold Holy Spirit Ministries in Giyani, South Africa supposedly heals churchgoers by stepping on their bodies and farting directly into their faces. The news seems to come from a
Zimbabwean publication, and while the pastor has
refuted claims that he blasts gas into parishioners' faces, other members of the church say he does in fact
rip beefers from God.
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According to a Zimbabwean news source, this pastor administers the holy spirit by farting directly into people's faces. People supposedly line up to "receive their blessing" through his sphincter, "which is believed to be a special bowl of wealth and great things."
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The reason they let him fart onto their faces is because they believe it will bring them good fortune for their lives and businesses. Some even buy little bottles of his farts and open them for a whiff before they go into negotiate an important business deal.
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"Listen lady, you keep talking and you're next in the hot seat."
4
The pastor also steps on people. He doesn't exactly explain why he does this, but he claims he isn't hurting anyone because the power of God makes him weightless when he does this.
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Absolutely no pain at all. Amazing.
6
Other senior members of the church apparently have the honor of farting on people as well, and they seem happy to do it.
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The face you make when a wet one's coming.
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The face you make when you realize you may have joined the wrong church.
9
Just stomping on fools with his annihilator gators on.
10
Guaranteed he was the only person laughing non-stop through 2020.
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Not surprisingly, the farting pastor has a unique technique for drinking wine.
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Sometimes he also likes to ride people around like donkeys. He's seriously just trolling the fuck out of these people.
