Did you have good parents or bad parents? Most people spend their entire lives trying to answer this question.
Want a more definitive answer? Thanks to
Reddit we've collected a list of surefire signs that you had the absolute
worst parents imaginable.
1
They're completely unwilling to open up and share anything because in their experience it will always be used against them. -u/Oddant1
2
People who try way too hard to please, and are terrified to put themselves first. This is the saddest trait because it’s the easiest for fresh predators to take advantage of when the parents are out of the picture. If only terrible parents knew or cared that they were grooming their kids for future abuse. -u/ToilAndTummyTrouble
3
People that are "old beyond their years." Nothing screams trauma like the too well-behaved, mature, quiet, self-sufficient child. We are experts at being exactly what we need to be to go unnoticed and cause as few waves as possible. -u/taniastar
4
They tell traumatized stories and think they are happy memories. -u/fire_fairy_
5
When I told my professor in graduate school that I wasn't going home for Christmas he said "oh yeah I mean, your parents can't be the best company, I've seen you apologize for being too polite." Like...yeah… -deleted user
6
When they think they always cause problems for others and when they are emotionally and socially closed off so it’s very hard for them to be more sociable, etc. -u/BriefDeep14
7
It's the way they apologize. For example, it's not just sorry. It's "Sorry sorry sorry.'' said quickly and urgently to avoid being hit. -u/gentlepettingzoo
8
They get attached way too quickly to anyone that shows the bare minimum of human empathy towards them. -u/Batata-Sofi
9
I knew a kid who'd instinctively cover his head whenever someone was behind him and he'd refuse to sit or stand anywhere that didn't have his back to a wall. His older siblings beat him up regularly, he'd frequently be coming to school with fresh bruises and when a girl tried to comfort him he thought she was just trying to lure him into a trap and a hit her, which got him expelled and growing up I'd see him around town, he dropped out of school completely and got into drugs.
His parents never gave a sh*t. Never. Not f*cking once. He had nothing because his older brothers would steal and destroy anything he ever owned, even his clothes so he'd wear the same thing for weeks on end, is it any surprise that he's been in and out of prison all his adult life?
Parental apathy is f*cking sh*t. And to add a cherry on top? His abusive older brothers went on to live pretty happy fulfilling lives, but the little brother they tortured and abused for years became the societal and family outcast. -u/CaptainNapal545
10
They can't take compliments because they're so used to being put down. They flinch if they hear someone raise their voice or at loud noises. -u/yeetgodmcnechass
11
A lack of self-esteem. Shows up in so many different ways. My S/O basically told me that I make her worry because I don't boss her around, which leaves her always wondering if I'm disappointed in her or if I feel she's not being a good girlfriend. If I boss her around and she follows my commands then she knows she's done what she's been told and has nothing to worry about.
This has become less of an issue over the years. I refuse to boss her around. I try to show appreciation instead and remind her that I love her, but she still worries she's not good enough sometimes and I hate that. I don't blame her, but I hate it more than anything. I feel she's never been good enough for her parents which has left her vulnerable to date guys who take advantage of that and also made her feel like she's not good enough. -u/EdwardAlphonse31011
12
Going into random panic mode when something insignificant goes sideways. -u/InfamouslyishFamous
13
Control freak. They grew up in chaos (alcoholism, gambling, foreclosure), and are obsessed with averting some unforeseen disaster. -u/RaptureInRed
14
Emotional numbness especially in the face of bad things. Once you've seen enough sh*t, certain things just don't faze you anymore. -u/GargantuanCake
15
They don't form attachments to others. They grew up in an environment where such attachments were a negative and or resulted in negative outcomes. -u/bozimthecalm
16
They're a desperate people-pleaser. Someone who'll leap to the aid of anyone, who'll give up anything they have so that someone else doesn't miss out, who will go well out of their way to be of assistance, and who abhors needing ANY help themselves. -u/GeebusNZ
17
Doesn't talk about their interests because parents have never showed interest/belittled them. -u/WyvernChaser
18
Not being able to remember the majority of their childhood. I’m talking about huge gaps of time you just cannot recall. I get it. Repressing the memories is just the mind trying its best to protect itself. -u/AJmermaid
19
Paranoia, the inability to trust others and obsessively overthinking every conversation they have. Also—speaking from a personal perspective people that grew up with toxic parents continue to question their sanity and reality here & there from the continuous gaslighting. -u/colleenk69
20
They are always trying to figure out what they did wrong and what they’re supposed to be doing and how, while editing their own thoughts and feeling vaguely bad. -u/Shopping_Acrobatic
21
They don't understand simple gestures of kindness. Took my husband a long time to understand that my parents liked giving little gifts to people and doing things for them, that they weren't trying to insult him or us or make us feel incompetent, they were just showing affection. -u/coffeecakesupernova
22
They lie. Lies specifically for avoiding conflict. Actually, I change my answer to 'Avoiding Conflict.' It's avoidance until an explosion. It's all they know. -u/ChurchillsHat
23
Why is nobody mentioning the silent footsteps? When you grow up with parents that will yell at you for existing, you develop the ability to hide your presence as much as possible and always try to keep your noise and visibility to a minimum. -u/FetishAnalyst
24
Having no desire to see them. -u/probablyjimmylam
25
You remember being severely neglected yet you were told “you are spoiled.” -u/hoooliet
