Despite grossing a combined $10 billion at the box office, the overlords of Lucasfilm — and later Disney — weren't going to let potential profits slip through the fingers of their advanced stabilizer gloves. Enter the world of bizarrely-branded Star Wars merchandise, like BB-8-emblazoned oranges and a $500 Luke Skywalker ski suit.
From prequel-themed air sickness bags to Yoda bath products and even a candy that lets you make out with Jar Jar Binks, here are the 20 worst pieces of Star Wars merch ever produced.
1
BB-8-branded oranges
These aren’t the droids you’re looking for … They’re a bag of oranges.
2
Star Wars Darth Vader Two-Slice Empire Toaster
Though the Amazon listing says users can “BRING DARTH VADER INTO YOUR KITCHEN,” we’d rather toast our bread with lightsabers.
3
Yoda Magic 8 Ball Fortune Teller
Fear is the path to the dark side … and so is this Yoda-branded magic 8 ball.
4
Dog AT-AT Costume
Never tell me that odds … that our dogs refuse to wear this horrible costume.
5
Crocs Star Wars Lined Clogs
You’re heard of Chewbacca, now get ready for Chew-croc-a.
6
Zebco Star Wars Spincast Reel and Fishing Rod Combo
The only connection we can think of is some weird, dark joke about daddy issues.
7
Darth Vader Handheld Shower Head
For the lady in your life that really *really* likes Star Wars.
8
Baby Yoda Toothpaste Topper
Nothing like brushing your teeth with Grogu puke!
9
Slave Leia by Star Wars
Ahhh yes, because who doesn’t want to smell like they’ve been captured by Jabba the Hutt?
10
Padmé Amidala-themed potato chips
We don’t know who thought Queen Amidala-branded potato chips were a good tie in to 1999’s ‘The Phantom Menace,’ but now is a good time to remind ourselves that to be angry is to be human.
11
Jar-Jar Binks Lollipop
“A promotional item for ‘Star Wars: Episode I’, this [1999] candy featured the plastic likeness of character Jar-Jar Binks, whose mouth opened to reveal a retractable strawberry-flavored sucker, shaped and textured like his tongue. Delightful.
12
Virgin Atlantic’s Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith Airsickness Bag
Ok, the prequels aren’t that bad.
13
Hot Wheels '70 Chevelle Delivery, Star Wars The Mandalorian 3/5
As Redditor u/P1_Synvictus so aptly put it, “weird scene to use, weird shot to use, weird car to put it on… it’s all just so perplexing.”
14
Star Wars DarkSide Electric Shaver
“When you lose everything… including your beard … that’s when you’re finally free,” or whatever The Stranger said.
15
Yoda Themed Bubble Bath
Released alongside ‘The Empire Strikes Back’, this 1981 bubble bath will help you realize your dreams of bathing alongside a green, wrinkly Jedi Master.
16
Sigma C-3PO Tape Dispenser (1982)
When our parents asked for a ‘Star Wars’ tape, they probably didn’t mean this.
17
Star Wars Episode 1 Watto Koosh Ball Toy Figure
We have no idea Watto was going on with this strange Star Wars toy.
18
The 1977 “Goldenrod” C-3PO trading card
While that was not a lightsaber in C-3PO’s armor, Star Wars superfans are still happy to see this hilariously raunchy card.
19
Star Wars R2D2 Screwdriver With 3 Forged Steel Bits
S—w or s—w not, there is no try.
20
Columbia’s Skywalker Pilot Ski Suit
For the low, low price of $500, you can make your friends and family say “huh?” when you roll up in this neon-orange, Luke Skywalker inspired ski suit.
