Excuses are usually the last resort, an attempt to dodge responsibility, explain away a mistake, or buy a little sympathy.
Most of the time they’re forgettable, but every so often someone comes up with a reason so unexpected, so wildly creative, that it not only works but becomes unforgettable.
From students boldly excusing themselves to employees phoning in with unbelievable tales, these excuses are both hilarious and oddly effective.
Fueled by panic, imagination, or just honesty, these excuses remind us that sometimes the best alibi isn’t believable at all but at least it’s entertaining. And these are some of the funniest excuses ever given that, against all odds, actually worked.
1
Got a text: “Running a few minutes late. Bear with me.” Followed by a picture of a large black bear in his driveway.
2
In 1979, when homosexuality was still classified as an illness in Sweden, many people called in sick saying they “felt gay.” Soon after, it was declassified.
3
I work at a grocery store. One night, an overnight cleaner ate mushrooms and called in sick, insisting, “I can’t come in, I’m only an inch tall.”
4
A guy once skipped work to play Diablo 3. Our manager joined his game and told him he’d be fired if he didn’t come in.
5
I once drunkenly called out at 4 a.m. without remembering. Later, I phoned my boss, apologizing and saying I’d come in. He replied, “You already called out drunk three hours ago. Go back to bed.”
6
During a lecture, a student stood up and said, “Excuse me, I have to leave early, my bed is on fire.”
7
I once had to call out because my front door jammed. I was literally locked inside until maintenance came. But no one believed me.
8
A co-worker showed up 40 minutes late, admitting, “I lost track of time playing guitar and watching TV.” The manager just laughed and told him to stay later.
9
My wife once called in saying she’d been hit by a dog. Her coworkers thought someone threw our Jack Russell at her, but it was actually a charging Rottweiler.
10
One co-worker’s go-to excuses included “training his hamsters” or “renewing his rabbit breeding license.”
11
Someone once called out saying, “I need to drive my mom to the shop so we can sell our stuff to make bail for my brother.”
12
A boss once went home early with the excuse that he had a “mushy foot.” Still no idea what that meant.
13
A co-worker claimed his new Nissan Titan had a “design flaw.” Supposedly lightning struck it, the windows rolled down, and the truck filled with water.
14
A friend once got a message: “Jim, got the gout. Won’t be in today.” It worked, still don't get it.
15
One coworker’s car doors froze shut. He drove to a gas station, honked until someone came, and communicated with hand gestures through the frozen windows. He eventually made it to work, but late.
16
A guy at work always wanted time with his wife and baby. His excuses got so absurd that once he just emailed: “Ate something.”
17
Someone called in claiming he broke his foot at a party. The next day, he strolled in like nothing had happened.
18
A nurse at my job called in three separate times over several years with the same excuse: “My mother died.” Apparently worked everytime.
19
My manager always called out the day after Thanksgiving, claiming an “allergy to turkey skin.” Really, she was just hungover.
20
One excuse I heard: “I can’t come in today. I just don’t feel I should HAVE to. It’s unfair for you to ask when I already had plans.”
