As employees, we all crave one thing from management: simple instructions. Unfortunately, the corporate world is filled with empty and...
As employees, we all crave one thing from management: simple instructions.
Unfortunately, the corporate world is filled with empty and
meaningless buzzwords that don't really mean anything. And here are the worst offenders.
1
“We are looking for a dynamic and enthusiastic team player who is confident and adaptable. Responsibilities include supporting senior leadership and taking responsibility for duties and workloads as assigned. You’ll be a member of an exciting and fast-paced team working in a challenging environment.”
YES BUT WHAT DO I DO?-u/Electronic_Rub9385
2
Fast-paced environment-u/llcucf80
3
"Rightsizing" It means they're going to fire a bunch of people and dump all that extra work on those who remain.-u/Coogles
4
Rockstars in "we're looking for rockstars" in a workplace that is as far removed from guitars, moshpits, and headbanging as possible.-u/PM_ME_FOODIE_SPOTS
5
We’re a family here-u/morphinemso4
6
In these unprecedented times -u/NFRNL13
7
“Wear many hats” Aka do your job and other people’s jobs as well-u/throwaway28236
8
Using “sustainability” like it is some newfound concept. Bonus points for using it incorrectly.-u/FYLBingB0ng
9
I will strangle the life out of the next person who says "record profits", especially when followed with "but no raises will be given".-u/Badjib
10
The word “pivot” and the phrase “I’m aligned with that”-u/Howdysf
11
“I’ll give you back (x) minutes of your day” after ending a meeting early.-u/jenksy
12
My office has an open-door policy…-u/Brix106
13
Empowerment or transparency Companies don't know what these words mean.-u/Mingismungis
14
The other day instead of telling me that we would see where we were at at the end of the day, my husband said we would discuss the state of play. I haven’t let him live it down since. What a weirdo.-u/coarsing_batch
15
“We work hard but we play hard.” You hear that, and it’s time to nope right the f*ck out of there. -u/VictorBlimpmuscle
16
Leveraging diversity.-u/i-need-blinker-fluid
17
Piggyback…as in “Great point, Fred. I’d like to piggy back on what you said with some more irrelevant information.”-u/Specialist-End6262
18
“In the trenches”. I find it very distasteful. I am sitting in an air-conditioned office FFS. I could not be further from the horrors of trench warfare.-u/mattimeo_
19
We're going through some structural changes, but you have nothing to worry about-u/advocate1552
20
Scalable. Using “Ask” as a noun.-u/Actuaryba
21
Circling back-u/rusinga_island
23
"Resource" as a synonym for "person"-u/ViridianKumquat
24
Engagement. If you pay me enough, treat me with respect, and don’t make the job worse than it has to be, I’ll be engaged. All others ways to get employees “engaged” are bs.-u/Surviving2
25
Girl boss. I’m a woman who has to work for a living, not a girl boss. Also not a girl. I’m an adult.-u/JillianWho
