Starting a new job is like stepping onto an unfamiliar stage. You know why you’re there, (apparently), but nobody gave you the script. You’re trying to remember names, figure out where the bathroom is, and act like you totally know how the coffee machine works.
Meanwhile, the universe is plotting against you and making you think you stepped into an alternate reality, like someone’s pranking you. Your outfit betrays you, the equipment misfires, and managers reveal tasks that make you wonder if maybe you wandered into the wrong workplace entirely.
The first day is a strange cocktail of nerves, excitement, and “what have I gotten myself into?” It’s the kind of experience that years later, still makes you laugh, cringe, or shake your head. Because sometimes the first day teaches you everything, just not about the job.
1
On my first night as a pizza delivery driver, I got mugged. It was only my second delivery. Two guys hit me, pushed me down, and took the money bag and pizza.
2
At 14, I was hired as a dishwasher at a new buffet. On my first day, they handed me a ladder and told me to install ceiling tiles. One fell on me, I slipped off the ladder, and the owner told me never to come back.
3
I showed up for my first day at a business that had an eviction notice on the door and a police officer looking for the owners. Dodged a bullet there.
4
First day at a gas station, I accidentally hit the button that shut down all the pumps.In high school, I worked at a flower shop. During training, we found a plastic spray device. Thinking it was a toy, we pressed it—and it turned out to be pepper spray.
5
In high school, I worked at a flower shop. During training, we found a plastic spray device. Thinking it was a toy, we pressed it and it turned out to be pepper spray. We had to evacuate and close early.
6
At my first insurance job, I wore chinos and a sweater because they said “business casual.” Within an hour, someone told me to drive home and change. It was a 30-minute drive each way. I quit a few months later.
7
First corporate job: I used the office coffee urn and pushed the button twice without realizing it would run two cycles. Came back to find coffee everywhere.
8
I bought new shoes for my first day. By the end, all my toes were bleeding and bruised. It took two years for my toenails to fully recover.
9
At a library job, my boss had me check obituaries daily to see if deceased people had library cards so I could mark them inactive. I did this for a year before someone told me the system already did it automatically.
10
Not me but at a restaurant I worked at, the new kid thought he was locked in the freezer on his first day. He just wasn't pushing the door right. Nobody noticed until he started calling the restaurant phone from inside.
11
I got a temp job shredding documents. What they didn’t mention was that the “shredder” was a leaf shredder on the loading dock. In August. In Texas. In office clothes.
12
At a sandwich shop, I was told to refill the ice in the Coke machine but wasn’t shown how. I thought there was a hole on top and poured it in. There wasn’t.
13
First day at a bar my cousin opened, I was “initiated” by being given way too many drinks. I ended up sick but technically still made it through the shift.
14
As a teen, I got hired at a pizza place near my house. On my first day, I arrived to find the doors locked and a sign saying the restaurant had permanently closed.
15
Didn’t even make it to the first day. My new boss called the night before with a funny voice, and since a friend had been prank-calling me a lot, I was sure it was him. I started calling “my friend” all sorts of names before hanging up with, “See you in t
