The Things You Do When You Live Alone
Featured 10/26/2014
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Pop Culture
No roomate, no problems.
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1. You rarely wear more than one layer below the waist.
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2. Anywhere becomes a kitchen.
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3. The location of your laundry varies depending on your mood.
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4. You boogie down to all the "horrible" music on your playlist.
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5. Artificially colored excuses for food are consumed in Costco-worthy quantities.
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6. You spend more time watching movies alone than you do socializing.
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7. You spend an irrational amount of time thinking how long it would take for someone to notice your absence if you were murdered or slipped in the shower.
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8. Your dirty dish situation occasionally gets out of control.
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9. Bodily functions are completed without reservations.
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10. You do everything with the door wide open.
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11. You don't even worry about staying silent late at night.
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12. You watch your favorite "movies" with the volume turned on and then promptly realize why you never did before.
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13. You lie to your friends about why you aren't going out tonight.
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14. If you're single, you mingle without any fear of roommate judgment.
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15. You watch all your favorite trashy TV shows without a single care as to how low your IQ is dropping.
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16. You are frequently at war with yourself.
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17. You strongly embrace the five-second rule.
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18. You make up for the lack of company by having intense conversations with yourself.
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19. You find creative ways to get rid of scary bugs
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20. You bask in the glory of getting away with wearing the same outfit two days in a row.
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21. Talking on the phone turns into an arduous trek around your living quarters.
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22. Sometimes, your loneliness gets the better of you...
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23. But ultimately, you know that there's no roommate worth giving up all this freedom for.
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You rarely wear more than one layer below the waist.
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