Bottle of vodka 'hidden' in the girls bathroom by 7th graders. "How did you know where to look?" Everyone who came back from the bathroom was drunk so, you're not as sneaky as you think. -u/tempaccntnow

Napalm. Some kids were into petrol/gas sniffing but found it hard to transport and keep hidden so they learned how to make napalm so they could carry it hidden in their bags. I had to lock down the whole school and get hazmat in to dispose of it.

And how did they find out how to make it? They asked one of the science teachers and he told them. -u/Billy-tee

A gorilla mask...yes...dude put it on while my back was turned and facing the board. I laughed then took it for the day until his parents collected it. -u/RanjitKumarSingh

A crossbow, property of a 17-year-old student at the boarding school where I used to work. The same boy was also fond of bringing pheasants to school that he'd killed on his father's estate and plucking them in the shower block…-u/whitewidow33B

Not a teacher, but I’m half deaf and my music teacher took my hearing aid and refused to accept that it wasn’t an earbud. Then he yelled at me for the rest of the class for not playing in tune (couldn’t exactly tell how well I was playing since I could hear it.) -u/Snoo-65144

A huge black "adult toy". A child found it in the school’s garden and said “I found a ding dong in the garden and I’m taking it home for Mum”. That day, I was not professional. -u/justincase690

A note that said, “So you gonna give the d*ck or what?” I teach 12-year-olds . -u/had2doittoem

My wife is a teacher and one of her first-graders brought her 2 hard seltzers because her mom said they’re good after a long day and she deserved them. -u/Nocreativeability

Someone in my class had their phone taken because their Siri went off and said“What do you need from me S**t?” -u/ymmit389

Preschool teacher here. I had to convince a 4-year old that his mom's wedding ring should go into a special box on the front desk instead of on the finger of a 6-year-old girl he had a crush on. -u/Luka-the-Pooka

A dead squirrel. I taught preschool at the time. -u/groviegroves

I had to confiscate hand sanitizer from a student who decided to drink it to get drunk and threw up EVERYWHERE. -u/astrobre

My mom always told the story about my brother bringing a signed picture of Richard Petty to his class and telling everyone he was his Dad (1-2nd grade maybe) but that everyone forgot because the next kid pulled out an antique gun -u/Bangbangsmashsmash

I know a teacher, she and her 1st or 2nd-grade class (can't remember which) were on lunch. The lunch lady walks up and tells her one of her students just tried to buy an extra something with over $1000 in cash she had stuffed in a tiny coin pouch that looked like a plushy pink duck.

The teacher called the girl's house and the mom apparently forgot to give the girl her allowance, 50 cents, so she took the paper money instead. -u/Svirfnil

When I was in fifth grade there was an active market in live bees.

Some kids figured out that the weight of the average fifth grader briefly stepping on a bee, in the grass, would stun it for about a minute without actually killing it. They started going out in teams to scout bees on the field, stun them, and carefully scoop them into plastic sandwich bags -- they'd then sell them to other students who'd release them in classrooms to waste class time and scare people.

You could get honeybees for 25 cents a piece. Bumblebees and yellow jackets cost more. Teachers and school admin started cracking down on this -- teachers literally confiscated live bees in plastic bags from students when found, and they eventually had to start having someone watch the field to catch students in the act. -u/Piogre

My fiancé’s coworker confiscated a makeshift shank from a 3rd grader (roughly 8 years old) made from a popsicle stick and a straw. He said he was “going to use it on his animals at home." Best part was when they told the dad he said “why did you give him supplies to make a shank?”.

I assume he’s gonna kill a few people in the future. -u/HiMyNameIsLuigi

I taught 1st grade and confiscated a piece of a broken beer bottle from a 6 yr old. It really surprised me, because he was the sweetest kid. Turns out another classmate asked him to bring a weapon and hide it in the playground sand, so that he could get back at another kid. -u/No_Fondant_5030

Not a teacher but I watched quite a funny confiscation while in detention as a sophomore in high school.

I was reading a book just trying to make the time go by when our vice principal (who was monitoring detention that day) stepped out for a moment. All of a sudden I hear a cracking sound and I look up from my book to see a broken egg on the floor. The few kids in the room look around at each other confused, nobody owns up to it, and nobody knows who did it because we were all distracted when it happened.

The vice principal returns, doesn't notice the egg. But he's so engrossed in his paperwork that this kid still gets away with throwing another egg. Everyone looks up, the VP asked what that noise was, and this kid holds up a broken pencil and apologizes. Everyone goes back to minding their business, but all the students now know who the culprit is.Finally, this kid throws one last egg, but unfortunately, the VP looked up from his papers right as he threw it. he walked over to the kid's desk, asked him what he thought he was doing, and the kid goes "just cracking jokes."

VP holds out his hand and the kid reveals an entire carton of eggs from under his sweatshirt and hands it to him. VP looked so un-phased that I honestly wondered what else that man has seen. I was honestly glad I got detention that day. -u/gina_renee

In third grade, I once had my entire deck of only-holographic Yugioh cards confiscated from me for playing with them during break time too much with friends. I was told I'd be able to get them back when I graduated school (6th grade).

I said okay, not totally understanding what was going on. I forgot about them completely (though I still kept a vested interest in the TCG for a few more years, like into 5th grade) until 9th grade. I went back and asked my old 3rd grade teacher to return my property. Within seconds, she pulls them out of her desk drawer and hands me them. It was an odd experience. -u/SepSev7n

Worst thing: bullets. From a first grader. Had to do a room clear to look for a gun. -u/Substantial_Peace707

A taser disguised as a torch -u/leobeer

The weirdest one was definitely the fish in a vase they found during locker checks. It was in an unassigned locker someone had added a lock to. Inside was a live Betta fish in about as large a vase as you can fit in a locker. Fully decorated.

Someone had clipped a little book light to the top of the vase presumably so fish wasn't in the dark all the time. No one claimed to know whose if was or how long it had been there so it lived in the coach's office for at least that year. -u/Polyfuckery