Drinking jokes - jokes

15 Signs You Are a Drunk

15 Signs You Are a Drunk

15 - You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping — with your Oldsmobile. 14 - Although armed with fire extinguishers, friends stood at a...

By lepricon777

Featured 16 years ago

Alcohol and Hot Dogs

Alcohol and Hot Dogs

One night two drunks were wandering the town trying to get drinks, but between the two of them, they only had a dollar and change. So the first...

By Riley

Featured 16 years ago

Need a Push

Need a Push

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the...

By jpcrf250

Featured 16 years ago

10 Story Shots

10 Story Shots

Two men were in a bar, 10 stories off the ground. The first man took a shot and jumped out the window. A few minutes later he appeared at the...

By RCMSROCKBOY

Featured 16 years ago

Mistaken Drunk

Mistaken Drunk

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal,...

By tktyler

Featured 17 years ago

No More Drinking

No More Drinking

Drinking a non alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin...sure it taste the same but it just ain't right!

By deertat1272

Featured 17 years ago

Drinking Partners

Drinking Partners

A cowgirl walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When she...

By ebaum

Featured 17 years ago

A Guy Walks Into a Bar Jokes III

A Guy Walks Into a Bar Jokes III

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The skeleton says, "Give me a beer, and a mop." A polar bear, a giraffe...

By ebaum

Featured 17 years ago

A Guy Walks Into a Bar Jokes II

A Guy Walks Into a Bar Jokes II

A bear walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and . . . . a packet of peanuts. The barman says, why the big pause?" A kangaroo walks into...

By ebaum

Featured 17 years ago

A Guy Walks Into a Bar Jokes

A Guy Walks Into a Bar Jokes

A guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road." An amnesiac walks into a bar and...

By ebaum

Featured 17 years ago

DWI

DWI

An old guy’s car collides with a young guy’s car and both are demolished. The two crawl out of the wreckage, amazed that neither of them was...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Vietnam Story

Vietnam Story

A teacher instructs her fifth-grade class to ask their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end. The next day the kids come in and...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Drinks for Jesus

Drinks for Jesus

An old Irishman walks into a bar, hauls his bad leg over the stool, and asks for a whiskey. "Hey," he says, looking down the bar, "is that Jesus...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Lost at Sea

Lost at Sea

Two fraternity brothers decide to go sailing one afternoon and become lost. After twenty hours with nothing to eat or drink, one of them spots a...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Taxi Fare

Taxi Fare

A frat boy gets into the back of a cab, and asks the cabbie, "Do you have enough room up there for a Pizza and a six pack of Beer?" The cabbie...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Nun in the Bathroom

Nun in the Bathroom

A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Abducted

Abducted

Harry, Bill and Steve are sitting at the corner bar enjoying themselves, when Ted walks in looking distressed. "Ted, you look awful. What's...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Drinking Politics

Drinking Politics

A man wearing a Democratic pin walks into a bar and sees a picture of President Bush hanging behind the bartender. He calls the bartender over...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Staggering Drunk

Staggering Drunk

Paddy staggered home very late and very drunk. He took off his shoes to avoid waking the wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Bad Bathroom Experience

Bad Bathroom Experience

Bob goes into the public rest room and sees this guy standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking care of...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Drinking Her Pretty

Drinking Her Pretty

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

More Drinking and Driving Fun

More Drinking and Driving Fun

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. ''I...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Don't Drink and Drive

Don't Drink and Drive

A man is out driving happily along in his car late one Saturday night. Before too long, the cops pull him over. The policeman walks up to the man...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Last Wish

Last Wish

The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Pet Alligator

Pet Alligator

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Most Popular

The Most Terrifying 7 Seconds of Scared Straight

The Most Terrifying 7 Seconds of Scared Straight

Bear Gets Revenge On Hunters That Think It's Dead

Bear Gets Revenge On Hunters That Think It's Dead

Has This Ever Happened To You?

Has This Ever Happened To You?