Coulda just said you don't like being touched, but sure, please tell us at length about how very very straight you are. Definitely no hidden insecurities here. Nope, none whatsoever.

This footage comes from a session of the Pennsylvania House of Representatives back in 2017. The chairman, Republican Rep. Daryl Metcalfe, takes extreme offense to a light touch of his arm by his Democratic colleague, Rep. Matthew Bradford. Metcalfe would later double down by telling a local news affiliate that "the homosexual crowd thinks that they can, you know, flaunt their sexuality routinely throughout the course of the day and throughout our government now and debate after debate."

Making the entire thing even more absurd and hilarious is the fact that Bradford is happily married to a woman and has four kids.