This Vinyl Record Smells Like Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina

They’re calling it “Goopy.”

By Braden Bjella

Published 6 months ago in Facepalm

Remember when Gwyneth Paltrow released a candle that smelled like her vagina? I don’t. Quite frankly, you could say that woman did anything and I’d believe you.


But the pussy candle, it turns out, was real. Soon after it went on sale, it sold out, leading to resellers trying to flip the thing online for hundreds of dollars.


Australian punk band Private Function didn’t like that. So, they bought one, recreated the scent, and infused it into select copies of their new record. Ergo, you can get a vinyl record that smells like Paltrow’s vagina. Just don’t try shoving a jade egg in it.


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