They’ve got strong legs from walking to school uphill both ways.

There’s arguably too much to gamble on these days. Seriously, if something exists, chances are high that there’s at least one bet about it available on Polymarket. You’ve got everything from sperm racing to who’s going to be on the (likely nonexistent) Epstein list. You can’t place bets on whether your parents will get back together yet, but give it time!

Now, we have another opportunity for gambling: grandparents. Emerald Downs has hosted a Grandparents Race in the past, pitting old folks against each other and seeing who comes out on top. While this event hasn’t been repeated yet, I think there’s an opportunity here. Let’s see these blue-hairs race!