What would you do if you were cursed to have diarrhea for the rest of your life? Well, you’d probably spend the rest of your life — apart from the time spent spraying your guts on the shitter — trying to punish the man who did that to you.

This actually happened, and now, the diarrhea-having boy is getting in trouble for it.

While this hypothetical may make you immediately side with the diarrhea-haver, the real life story makes things a little more complicated. According to an article in the Daily Beast, a man named Robert Bouton McDougal was admitted to the hospital in 2020, at which point he was placed under the care of Dr. Jared Frattini.

For some, hopefully medically necessary reason, Frattini decided to remove McDougal’s colon and rectum. This caused McDougal to have “15 or more daily attacks of diarrhea” — and eventually, seem to lose his mind.

McDougal began assaulting Frattini on all fronts, operating a YouTube channel, Reddit account and Substack in which he claimed he was misdiagnosed while also making endless threats on Frattini’s life.

“I dream of seeing him limbless and blind, but conscious,” McDougal posted to Substack on March 29, per the Daily Beast (who the hell was reading this Substack?). “I want bones shattered into pieces. … He needs to be gunned down in the parking lot. He needs to be thrown in the back of a truck, and tortured. Brutally tortured. He needs to feel levels of pain no living creature has ever felt. … I want to kill this man. I want to genocide his family. I want him tortured, skinned alive, mutilated.”

I think this guy may have been a little angry!

If you need more proof, however, you can take a look through both the aforementioned YouTube page and also his Reddit account, where he repeatedly posts about Frattini, how O.J. Simpson should have gone on The Joe Rogan Experience, getting tased by the police and hating cops. I can’t imagine those last two are connected.

Understandably, Frattini wasn’t too happy about any of this. He’s now accusing McDougal of stalking, citing the above, well, everything as evidence in his case.

And just in case you think, hey, maybe Frattini is in the wrong here, 1) no amount of diarrhea justifies genociding someone’s family; and 2) “50 percent to 80 percent Crohn's disease (CD) and 10 percent to 30 percent ulcerative colitis (UC) patients require surgery over their lifetime,” per a 2022 study. Additionally, when McDougal initially posted about the incident on Reddit, commenters were in general agreement that Frattini was right to do what he did.

That said, I guess we’ll just have to see how all of this plays out in court. Hopefully McDougal’s opening arguments have a little more proof and a little less threats of murder.