Contrary to the Chicago Tribune headline declaring that “Brandon Johnson tops Paul Vallas for Chicago mayor, AP says” Brandon Johnson and Paul Vallas did not have hot gay sex to decide the outcome of Chicago’s recent mayoral election – again solidifying that political reporters don’t know that “tops” means “to fuck in the ass” for a good chunk of the internet.


On Tuesday, April 4, this long-documented phenomenon, one that has plagued nearly every local and national election alike over the past odd decade emerged yet again, this time, putting an inadvertently sexual twist on the Chicago Tribune's coverage of the city’s mayoral election.



Now, for those of you who are straight, over the age of 30, or have generally lived under a rock for the past three decades, the term “topping” doesn't always mean emerging victorious in a given situation: In LGBTQ+ circles, the term has long held another, much hornier meaning, referencing the act of taking the lead while getting it on.



Though the Tribune may have evidently been oblivious to this alternate definition, nearly every commenter knew what was up, taking to Twitter to express their surprise at Chicago’s mayoral orgy.



Alongside questioning the decision to employ this controversial term – “Now why did we use this language?” asked Twitter user @codycorrall – others committed to the bit, musing on Johnson and Vallas’ implied enemies-to-lovers arc.



“Didn’t know Paul was like that,” wrote @zach_shaw_, as @michaelizquierdo made the move to officially classify Johnson as a “confirmed top.”


So, reporters, with the 2024 presidential election on the horizon, please do yourselves a favor and get acquainted with what “tops” actually means — and edges too, which is what you're doing to us with headlines like this.